The Power of Small

Tue, April 24, 2012 - 9:02:11

It’s Not What You Say, It’s How You Say It: The Way You Talk Could Cost You the Job

Being well spoken is a valuable trait in the business world; it’s one that can help you land an interview, communicate with clients, and effectively present ideas. But, there’s a phenomenon among young people—particularly millennial women—that could negate even their best efforts to get ahead. It’s called “vocal fry” and, as Craig Chappelow, a portfolio manager at the Center for Creative Leadership, wrote recently on The Expert Blog, it could keep you from getting hired.

Medical professionals have long warned that this growly style of speech, sometimes called “glottalization,” is damaging to overall vocal health, leading to vocal nodes, which can permanently alter the sound of your voice. But, the effects can be equally damaging to your career. Although much of our day-to-day communication is now done electronically via email and social networking, speaking is still something most of us have to do every day. And if you don’t sound professional, there’s little chance that your coworkers, clients, or superiors will believe that you are.

Chappelow relates a cautionary tale:

One of the staffers on the preliminary interviews handed me the shortened stack and told me that he had arranged the candidates in rank order based on their qualifications. He did a nice job because the resume on top of the pile looked like a perfect match of background and experience.

But when I spoke with the candidate, I ruled her out immediately. Why? Because of how she talked on the phone. Every sentence ended in a gravelly low vibrato. It was a grating, kazoo-like effect that made the candidate sound immature, unconfident, and, frankly, annoying. There was no way we could risk having her represent us with a senior executive audience in spite of her considerable track record and credentials.

It’s just one more example of how the little things we do—something as simple as the way we talk—can have a dramatic impact on our lives. It may seem like a small thing, but speaking with an unnatural vocal fry can create a negative impression from the start and make even your most well thought out words lose their meaning.

Posted by Linda and Robin
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The Power of Nice

Mon, April 23, 2012 - 9:29:46

Are Meaner Bosses Better?

Recently, we came across an article in Fast Company that really ruffled our feathers. Meaner bosses, the article asserted, are better than their nicer counterparts. The article went on to explain that professionals who aren’t afraid to deliver tough feedback, manage their staff at every step, correct errors, and foster a structured environment make the best bosses.

But, we have to ask: what exactly do any of those behaviors have to do with being “mean?” And furthermore, why is that kind of managerial strength considered antithetical to being NICE? We’d offer that those very traits are at the heart of our POWER OF NICE philosophy—and the kind that will help you get ahead throughout your career.

Too often, unfortunately, weak bosses who are afraid to take a true leadership role are inaccurately labeled as “nice.” But, NICE isn’t fearful of taking charge; it embraces responsibility, encourages collaboration, and provides the necessary guidance—including criticism—that helps employees and businesses thrive.

How does this differ from being a truly mean boss? It’s simple: mean bosses are tough in all the wrong ways. Instead of supporting employees, they belittle them. Instead of making them feel valued, they make them feel inconsequential. And rather than acknowledging their employees’ strengths and weaknesses, they simply ignore them.

The point is: niceness and toughness aren’t mutually exclusive. In management, they’re the powerful combination that can help you ascend the ranks.

Posted by Linda and Robin
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The Power of Small

Fri, April 20, 2012 - 9:29:52

Words with Friends: The Little Conversation You Should Stop Having Now

Two friends are chatting at work when the topic comes to everyone’s favorite subject: lunch. Then it starts, “I can’t eat carbs—my thighs are huge,” remarks one woman. “Oh, please,” says the other, “just look at my jiggly arms!”

Sound familiar? That’s because it’s probably a conversation you’ve had at least a few times. But, as Anya Strzemien wrote in a wonderful piece for Stylelist , it’s one you should stop having right now. And the reason is simple: those little digs we make about ourselves in order to commiserate with our friends can have a big impact on our self-esteem.

One way to kick this bad habit is simply to replace the self put-down with a genuine compliment about the other person. Instead of responding to your friend’s body-blasting statement with another negative statement, flip it around. For example, don’t say, “Are you kidding? I’m so fat!” respond, “I think you look great. And just look at those shoes!” It cuts the cycle of negativity off immediately and turns the conversation in a positive direction.

In order to combat this common bonding practice among women, Anya Strzemien came up with another clever idea. Similar to the “swear jar” your mom might have kept around when you were a kid, the blogger has set up a “I Promise To Stop Saying Negative Things About My Body Jar” in the Stylelist offices. Each time anyone around the office slips up, they have to make a donation, which will go to the charity, Girls INC.

Whatever method you choose, make today the day you decide to stop having those damaging conversations with your friends. You’ll soon find that the less you talk badly about yourself, the better you feel.

Posted by Linda and Robin
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The Power of Nice

Wed, April 18, 2012 - 9:26:23

Curiosity is King

We’ve all heard the old saying, “Curiosity killed the cat.” But, in our experience, nothing could be further from the truth. In business and in life, curiosity is one of the most valuable interpersonal skills you can possess. In fact, it’s one of the best ways to instantly build rapport with the people around you.

As Geoffrey James recently pointed out in an article for INC.com, many people mistakenly believe that the best way to break the ice is to begin a conversation with a reference to a shared cultural experience, such as the weather or a sporting event. But, often, these attempts fall flat. The real way to get the conversational juices flowing is to ask a question about the other person. After all, there’s nothing more seductive than someone who finds you utterly fascinating. (And nothing more unattractive than a person who drones on endlessly about himself!)

You may worry that you’re coming across as nosy, but provided that you stick to topics that are professional and appropriate—such as asking questions about a recent presentation—you’ll appear interested, not intrusive. Plus, the fact that you’re prepared enough to ask such informed questions will make the other person feel valued and therefore much more comfortable.

It’s just one more way that NICE turns conventional wisdom on its ear. Curiosity didn’t kill the cat; it kills the competition!

Posted by Linda and Robin
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The Power of Nice

Tue, April 10, 2012 - 9:43:59

NICE: The Secret to Staying Young at Heart

We all know that being nice can help you get ahead in life, but research suggests that it may also help you extend it. In fact, basic relationship-building skills like listening and empathizing could hold the key getting the most out of your golden years.

In a recent New York Times piece, columnist Jane E. Brody explains that forming caring relationships with others is integral to overall health—and heart health in particular.

Among other research, Brody cites a Baylor University study of 600 men, a third of whom had heart disease. Strangely, the researchers discovered that the more frequently subjects used personal pronouns like “I” and “Me” the more likely they were to have heart disease and suffer from heart attacks down the line.

In other words, caring for others is a NICE way to take care of yourself. Being self-absorbed isn’t just bad for your social life. It’s actually bad for your health, while being interested in others’ wellbeing strengthens your own. It’s just another reason way it really does pay to be NICE.

Posted by Linda and Robin
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