Thu, January 19, 2012 - 12:28:26

In the C-Suite of the Future, “C” Stands for Collaboration

In a recent Forbes piece, Doreen Lorenzo explains why the “C” in C-suite may be in for a necessary change. The complex challenges facing today’s leadership calls for a new approach—and, as we also believe, that approach is a collaborative one.

Our company, the Kaplan Thaler Group, was founded on this model. Instead of operating from the top down, we’ve always encouraged ideas from everyone within our ranks, whether we were a seven person company or one made up of several hundred. And it’s been a vital part of our success as one of the nation’s fastest growing advertising agencies.

Lorenzo writes, “Ultimately, collaboration is the key to sustained success at any innovative company—no matter how much employees may admire a single figurehead. Ideas are only ideas until a team of people makes them real, profitable, and scalable over the long-term.”

The truth is great ideas can come from anyone, anywhere; companies that fail to recognize this are only doing themselves a disservice. Soliciting and considering input from a diverse range of leaders, as well as other staff, not only exposes the company to a larger pool of ideas, but provides the added benefit of fostering a more positive work environment for all.

Of course, collaboration isn’t a consideration exclusively for C-level executives. No matter what your position—whether you’re a seasoned manager or a fresh graduate in your first job—it can be easy to fall into the ego trap and maintain a fierce sense of ownership over your ideas. But, as we’ve found time and time again, working together, sharing the credit, and freely trading our thoughts with one another is the best way to getting problems solved quickly, efficiently, and effectively. And that’s just one more way in which NICE guys and gals finish first.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Thu, January 12, 2012 - 9:36:31

Caring Criticism

In this month’s Harvard Business Review, Keith Ferrazzi discusses the powerful implications of candor in the workplace. Although some might mistakenly believe that NICE and candidness are mutually exclusive traits, we strongly believe in fostering an environment in which candor is the norm. In fact, being willing to deliver an opinion that might be unpopular is an essential part of our NICE philosophy, while refraining from it altogether certainly is not.

How you do it, however, makes all the difference. Ferrazzi briefly addresses this point, advocating for what he calls “caring criticism.” “Negative feedback can hurt, but usually it’s a gift aimed at helping the recipient improve performance or avoid mistakes,” Ferrazzi writes, continuing, “We should deliver and receive it that way. Use phrases like “I might suggest” and “Think about this.”

And we’d like to expand on that point. Yes, receiving negative feedback can result in a momentary sting to the ego, but it can be of high value to everyone involved, particularly when it’s delivered tactfully and with care. One way to do so is with a simple technique we call the “Yes Sandwich,” in which the criticism is given (or, sandwiched) between two positive statements. Let us be clear: the Yes Sandwich is not about buttering up the recipient of the criticism or stoking their fragile egos. It’s about letting the other person know they are valued, by pointing out what they do well and by offering your thoughts on where they can improve.

The truth is: NICE and criticism can—and do—go together and the best managers recognize this. At first breath, criticism has a negative connotation, but there’s nothing inherently mean about helping someone else figure out where and how they can do their job better. Instead it has the potential to be one of the kindest things you do for your employees.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Wed, December 21, 2011 - 2:07:57

The Best Gift this Holiday Season Doesn’t Cost a Thing

Black Friday, Cyber Monday, and the host of holiday deals have many consumers clamoring to the stores in search of a big bargain on the perfect gifts for our family and friends. But, during the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, perhaps we don’t take enough time to think about one of the main reasons for why we give. No matter how large or small, gifts are a way of telling that they matter to us. And that’s why, even thought it’s a cliché, the old expression, “It’s the thought that counts” rings true.

Although the holidays are a time when many of us have a tendency to think big, the truth is, one of the best gifts you can give is a small act of gratitude. True, it might not come wrapped in a big red bow. But, simply taking a moment at the holidays (or any time of year, for that matter) to recognize the important roles others play in your day-to-day life and say “thank you” can leave a long and lasting impact.

Of course, that’s not to say that buying someone a gift isn’t worthwhile—it’s a great way to show someone else you care. But, small gestures of kindness and gratitude are another ideal way to foster a spirit of goodwill wherever you are. Through the power of emotional contagion, psychologists have found that kindness actually has a ripple effect and spreads from person to person. So, why not start one where you are by harnessing the power of your small, nice acts right now?
Give these gifts of gratitude and appreciation generously this holiday season:

Lend an Ear. Our 24/7, digital world is noisier than ever. And that means “getting heard” can sometimes feel like an impossible task. Simply listening intently when someone else is speaking to you can have a profound impact.

Reply Always.  We have an important rule at our company, the Kaplan Thaler Group. We never let an email go unanswered. Even if it’s as simple as sending out a confirmation that you’ve received a document, always make an effort to acknowledge the sender. It’s one of the easiest ways you can plant a positive seed.

Say “Thank You.” They’re two of the most powerful, yet underutilized words in the English language—and if you’re not saying them enough, you could be missing out on a tremendous opportunity to raise your NICE-Q. Although it’s virtually effortless, saying “thanks” ensures that others feel valued while failing to do so can leave them feeling invisible.

So, as you speed along checking off every last item on your holiday shopping list, take a moment to slow down, remember what matters, and give the gift of gratitude. When you do, you may just discover that the most valuable gifts of all don’t cost a thing.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Tue, December 13, 2011 - 9:00:57

Passenger Outbursts Are No Laughing Matter

Over the weekend, Alec Baldwin made light of his recent run-in with American Airlines on Saturday Night Live. As you probably recall, the incident made headlines after he was thrown off a flight to New York for refusing to turn off his iPhone while in the midst of a heated game of Words with Friends.

Although the SNL skit was humorous to say the least, Baldwin’s behavior on the flight was no laughing matter. Because, as we wrote recently in an LA Times Op-Ed, in order to make the skies a little friendlier, it’s up to airlines and passengers to get along.

There’s no question that the troubled airline industry could do more to make its customers happy. Communicating, being honest, and rewarding loyalty are all great places to start. But, consumers can make their own experiences better too, and whether you’re a big time celebrity or an average Joe, that means one thing: give a little. Turn the device off when you’re asked. Put your tray tables in their “upright and locked positions.” Be a little generous and swap seats to help a family that is being separated. 

It doesn’t take much effort, but simply by being a little NICER, we could all experience a better time up in the air. As we face the hustle and bustle of a busy travel season, we might forget how much each of our actions truly affects those around us. For example, Mr. Baldwin’s airplane temper tantrum didn’t just mean he missed scoring a few points on his favorite mobile game.  Because it caused the flight to be delayed, it meant literally hundreds of people’s schedules were impacted, from fellow passengers, to the flight crew.

So, the next time you board a flight, remember, we’re all in this together. And that means a better in-flight experience starts with you.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Mon, December 05, 2011 - 12:29:56

Recognizing Your Company’s Greatest Assets

According to the New York Times’ Eyelyn M. Rusli, many experts speculate that Zynga, the company on the brink of a hotly anticipated IPO, is at risk of losing the high-value employees that helped build it. And for a company that’s made a name for itself by creating addictively fun social games, the reason why might surprise you. As it turns out, the gaming company’s Achilles heel may be an over-competitive, cutthroat culture that fails to recognize the contributions of its MVPs, its employees.

Unfortunately, it’s a story we’ve heard far too often, based on the misinformed belief that in order to succeed in the business world, you have to be ruthless, whether it’s with your competition or with your staff. But, we’re here to debunk that myth. Not only can you grow your business and get the most out of your employees while being NICE, you’ll actually make yourself more competitive in our dog-eat-dog business world. And as the founders of one of the nation’s fastest growing advertising agencies, with one of the industry’s highest employee retention rates, we know first-hand that it pays to be nice.

Are you doing enough as a manager to recognize the contributions of your employees? As one of your company’s greatest assets, the truth is, you can’t afford not to.
But, contrary to what you might think, some of the most valuable ways to reward your employees aren’t the most costly. Research has found that it’s the small things that make the biggest difference in overall employee satisfaction.

A 2010 McKinsey survey found that although financial motivators are still effective, emotional ones pack an even bigger punch. Praise and recognition from an immediate manager received the highest marks; with 67 percent of respondents calling it “effective” or “extremely effective,” and all emotionally-based motivators, like attention from leaders and opportunities for increased leadership, were rated more effective than financial ones.

With the holiday season in full swing, there’s no better time than now to let your employees know how much they mean to your organization. So, if you think your employees are doing a great job, the best gift you can give them is to let them know it.  Even something as small as a personalized email with a word of thanks can have more power than you could imagine.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Fri, November 25, 2011 - 12:25:02

Golf Can Put Your Career on the Right Course

Earlier today, we came across an intriguing piece from The Economist, citing a new study that found that managers who play golf earn 17% more, on average than those who forego the sport. Although, the author explained, the findings were probably just a coincidence; he speculated that perhaps golf’s sportsmanlike culture could give managers a leg-up on the competition. And that really got our attention. Because even though we’re not exactly experts on a Par Four, we do know a thing or two about exhibiting good sportsmanship in a heated competition.

As the authors of THE POWER OF NICE: How to Conquer the Business World with Kindness, we’re often asked how we’re able to remain kind and courteous when we’re going head to head in one of the most ferociously competitive industries around. Well, the answer is simple: we’re good sports. It’s a reputation our agency has maintained for more than a decade, and one that’s provided us with a competitive advantage year after year.
So, what exactly does golf have in common with NICE? And, more importantly, why can it make you a better businessperson? The Economist explains that golf’s large amount of downtime allows players to make small talk and build relationships that can provide tremendous value off the course. What’s more:

Golf is a fine test of character. When you do business with people, you need to know more about them. Golf rewards players who remain calm under pressure, never lose their temper and think strategically. These are all virtues in business, too.

The culture of golf is one of scrupulous honesty. It is easy to cheat: you can move your ball to a nicer lie when no one is watching. But it is utterly, utterly unacceptable to do this. Cheaters are shunned, and word of their perfidy spreads quickly.

As we read the article, these ideas all sounded very familiar to us. Why? Because they’re all basic tenets of the POWER OF NICE. And, through our exhaustive research, we’ve found numerous studies that support our belief that NICE guys—and gals—finish first in the business world. And that means even if the putting green isn’t your scene, you can harness the power of good sportsmanship to help you put your career on the right course.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Wed, November 16, 2011 - 10:58:36

Teens, the ‘Net, and Nice

A new study published by Pew Research paints a rather surprising picture of the way in which most teens experience social networks on a day-to-day basis. Although much has been reported about teens behaving badly online, this research suggests that mean may not be “trending” as hotly as it used to. And while internet bullying and other unkind behaviors are still practiced by many adolescents, NICE is actually becoming a more a predominant and widely accepted behavior online—whether on Facebook, Twitter, or Formspring—and one we hope will spread.
Although some teens interviewed expectedly explained that the relatively impersonal nature of the internet does increase the likelihood that they will be mean, rude, or curt with one of their friends, many others confessed that their experience was quite the opposite.
Pew reports:
For other teens, the fact that they can act differently on social media translates into more real, positive experiences. Instead of seeing social media as a place that fomented conflict or bad behavior, some teens felt as though it increased a sense of closeness and allowed people to be authentic or more real than they could be offline.
Overall, the teens interviewed used words like “respectful,” “nice,” “friendly,” “mature,” and “peaceful” to describe the ways in which they and their peers should act online. And by following their own advice, both now and in the future, these young men and women could find themselves at a real advantage, both professionally and personally—especially as one’s online presence becomes progressively more influential on their real-world reputation.
It’s just one more example of how NICE is a powerful, underrated, and growing force in the real world and increasingly online as well. Although the Web is typically thought of as a haven for snark, sarcasm, and profanity, the truth is, the key to conquering it is with kindness. After all, as we’ve learned, there’s no four-letter word more powerful than N-I-C-E, no matter what your age.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Tue, October 25, 2011 - 1:36:25

Laughter Really is the Best Medicine

Numerous studies have shown that having a good-natured sense of humor can help you stay healthy long into your old age, but new research suggests that can also provide a real benefit to elderly people suffering from devastating illnesses. In particular, a new study out of Australia suggests that laughter can greatly improve the lives of people with dementia, a blanket term used to describe a number of conditions with similar neurodegenerative effects on the brain.

The three-year study, lead by humor therapist Jean-Paul Bell and the University of New South Wales School of Psychology professor, Lee-Fay Low, was conducted among 400 participants in 36 nursing homes throughout Australia. During that time, the participants were regularly entertained by Bell, who, according to MSNBC, “dressed in a bright blue jacket with brass buttons and shoulder tabs” and used “a combination of games, jokes and songs—accompanying himself on a ukulele—to get the elderly to laugh.”

The result? Researchers saw a 20% reduction in agitation among patients, and while researchers note that it might not sound like a significant number, it is actually comparable to the effects of a powerful medication like an anti-psychotic drug.

What’s more, the researchers reported that the nursing home staff expressed that they felt “invigorated” by the regular at-work comedy shows and were more satisfied with their jobs as a result.

In other words, sometimes laughter really can be the best medicine—and NICE is the most powerful kind of humor of all. When it comes to your physical health, your job satisfaction, your creativity, or even your team-working skills, sharing a few friendly laughs each day can play a powerful role in shaping your life for the better. So, laugh it up…it’s good for you!

Posted by Linda and Robin

Thu, October 06, 2011 - 11:46:43

Three Ways NICE Wins at Negotiation

Think you have to play hardball to come out on top in a tough negotiation? Think again. You don’t have to be cutthroat, domineering, or intimidating to get want you want in the business world. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Research has found repeatedly that many NICE techniques are actually just as effective—if not more so—than those stereotypical, aggressive (not to mention outdated) boardroom behaviors.

We won’t pretend that a high-stakes negotiation doesn’t have the potential to get heated, but you don’t have to stoop to a lower level. Instead, you can use NICE to give yourself the upper hand.

Try these tips:

Send an invitation: Research has found that one of the most important factors in who “wins” actually has a lot to do with location. Make the friendly gesture of inviting the other party into your office the next time you have an important point to argue. Simply holding the meeting in your space will give you the advantage, making you feel more confident, and therefore more able to support your points.

Sweet-talk them: No, we don’t mean you should whisper sweet nothings in your colleague’s ear. Once you’ve begun your meeting, offer up a few pieces of chocolate, or other sweet treats. Not only will your gesture of sharing put everyone at ease, research has actually found that candy triggers the release of endorphins, a feel-good hormone that causes people to become more receptive to ideas.

Say “Yes and…”: One of the biggest misconceptions about NICE people in the business world is that they’re spineless wimps who will say yes to anything. Well, in a negotiation, simply agreeing to the other person’s demands will get you nowhere. Instead, we challenge you to push back by saying “Yes, and…” It’s an improvisational technique that can help you continue the negotiation in a positive way, indicating that you’ve heard and understood the other’s point of view, and then imparting your own ideas. That way, instead of being pitted against one another, you start collaborating to find the best solution.

So, get NICE and get negotiating! With kindness as your guiding strategy, you’ll soon find it really does pay to be nice.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Thu, September 29, 2011 - 1:04:58

Never Underestimate the Power of a “RAoK”

Earlier this week, while we were perusing one of our favorite blogs, Operation NICE, we came across a video that really touched our hearts—and served as yet another striking example of the power only kindness has.

The video by Lucas Jatoba, a Brazilian-born Australia resident, was created in celebration of his own thirtieth birthday. Made only a month ago, the video has quickly become an Internet sensation, evidencing once again NICE 2.0’s unique viral potential.

30 gifts to 30 strangers in Sydney from Lucas Jatoba on Vimeo.

As this video shows, there are few better ways to plant a positive seed than to commit a random act of kindness, whether it’s in your personal life or in your career. But, you don’t have to do it on such a grand scale to make a difference in the lives of others—or in your own. You can start right now, with something as simple as a smile.

The truth is, every little act of kindness is a gift we give to someone else and to ourselves as well. So, why not start harnessing the POWER OF NICE today by trying these simple ideas:

Give a compliment. Let us ask you something. When was the last time you got a really good compliment? Chances are you remember exactly when and where you received it, and more importantly, how it made you feel. Today, many people are afraid that giving another person a compliment will make them appear phony, but this is hardly the case. As long as your words are genuine, they will almost certainly be appreciated.

Sweeten the Deal.  Bringing a plate of cupcakes or a bag of fun-sized candy to your next meeting can have multiple benefits. Not only does this small act of generosity help you plant positive seeds with your coworkers, it’s actually been proven to help boost productivity and aid decision-making.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Mon, September 19, 2011 - 9:28:06

At Work, Laughter is No Joke

We’ve all heard the expression “We mean business,” used to express a sense of seriousness and gravity in the professional world. But, what if we told you that keeping things “strictly business” in your workplace could actually have a damaging effect on productivity and weaken your employees’ team working skills?

Several studies conducted by psychologists at Oxford University and the University of Maryland Baltimore County suggest that cutting up at work could be integral to building a stronger, more effective workforce. Why? Because, as the researchers found, laughter strengthens social bonds.

Dr. Robin Dunbar of Oxford University explains to the New York Times that relaxed, social laughter is not only contagious, it actually fosters closeness in a group, and makes it easier to maintain those bonds once they are formed.

In other words, laughter brings people together.

It’s something we’ve experienced countless times around the offices and in the conference rooms at our agency, the Kaplan Thaler Group. In fact, you might say that we’ve made laughter a company policy. We often begin our meetings—particularly our creative brainstorming sessions—with a few funny stories or jokes we’ve recently heard. Before we know it, everyone is smiling and laughing, the endorphins are flowing, and everyone’s minds are primed to start thinking more creatively and more collaboratively.

So, the next time you and your team are facing a tough challenge at work, take down your game face and goof off a little. You’ll find that when it comes to helping you work smarter, a little laughter is no joke.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Thu, September 01, 2011 - 10:18:06

Say Something Nice

Think only negative, snarky content has the potential to go viral online? Think again. This week, we—and countless other web surfers—were thrilled to discover this video produced by Improv Everywhere. And if you haven’t had a chance to view it, we highly recommend you do:

With over a million views in less than a week’s time, Improv Everywhere’s YouTube success is proof once again of the exceptional POWER OF NICE. Even your smallest acts of kindness—a friendly greeting or a little compliment, for example—has limitless promise.  Why? Because each of these interactions is the chance to plant a positive seed. Over time, these seeds grow and blossom, creating a fertile universe that’s ripe with personal and professional opportunity.

Yet, too often in our busy day-to-day lives, this potential remains untapped.  So, why not let this latest Internet sensation inspire you to start flexing your NICE muscles today? You don’t need a megaphone and a podium to make a big impact on someone else’s day. All you need are a few kind words. So, what are you waiting for? Say something NICE!

Posted by Linda and Robin

Tue, August 23, 2011 - 10:26:47

Does it Pay to Be Nice?

Recently, there’s been a study in the news that’s getting quite a lot of attention. “Mean People Earn More Money,” a Wall Street Journal headline asserted. But, is it true? And, more important, what exactly does it mean to be “mean” and what are those underpaid so-called “nice” guys doing wrong?

According to “Do Nice Guys—and Gals—Really Finish Last?,” a study conducted by Beth A. Livingston of Cornell University’s School of Industrial and Labor Relations, Timothy A. Judge of the University of Notre Dame, and Charlice Hurst of the University of Western Ontario, people—and men in particular—who were considered highly agreeable earn significantly less than their less agreeable counterparts.

But does this really mean that NICE guys—and gals—finish last? We’d have to say “no.” Because being agreeable isn’t the same as being nice. Being nice doesn’t mean nodding along and smiling blandly when you really have a differing opinion. In fact, you can strongly disagree, stand up for yourself, and speak your mind. Nice really means being respectful, positive, and firm in your point of view, whatever it is.

Unfortunately, many people misinterpret being nice as being wimpy, naïve, or spineless. But, we believe kindness and toughness aren’t mutually exclusive traits. As Dr. Cleve Stevens wrote for the Harvard Business Review, effective business leaders are empathetic and “vividly understand that tough-minded caring is essential to leading and developing a powerful, fully expressed workforce.” In other words, having genuine concern for others, while at the same time being willing to deliver criticism when necessary, is essential. 

Moreover, empathy, co-operation, and listening—so-called “soft skills,”—are proving integral to our new, global business climate, which places an emphasis on collaboration across gender, cultural, and socio-political lines. Moving forward, being NICE won’t really be an option if you want to succeed.

The point is: THE POWER OF NICE is not a Pollyanna philosophy; it’s a proven business strategy rooted in the value of communication, collaboration, compassion, and connectedness. When you realize that you’re powerful enough to make tough decisions, speak your mind, and get ahead, all while being respectful and making positive impressions, you can achieve your biggest goals—and feel proud of your accomplishments, knowing you got there the NICE way.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Fri, August 12, 2011 - 10:59:12

Want the Corner Office? Try being NICE.

When it comes to ambitious young professionals, two of the most commonly repeated phrases are: “I’m not here to make friends,” and “It’s not personal, it’s just business.” But, what if we told you that the most effective way to succeed in the so-called dog-eat-dog business world isn’t to snarl at your perceived competition, but rather to wag your tail?

In our book, THE POWER OF NICE: How to Conquer the Business World with Kindness, we explain how friendship is essential to your long-term success. From befriending your business “adversaries” to fostering strong interpersonal relationships with your coworkers at the office, NICE can take you far. And our belief is rooted in findings that go beyond anecdotal evidence from our own careers and those of the people we encountered while researching our book. In fact, a study highlighted recently by the Harvard Business Review proves it.

According to Sean Achor, author of The Happiness Advantage, workers who are the most adept at developing workplace friendships stand a far greater chance at earning a promotion. In fact, he discovered that of the employees least interested in making friends with their coworkers, only 7% had been promoted within the past year, as compared to 40% of their “nicer” coworkers.

It’s just another example of why it not only pays to be nice, but why nice guys and gals really do get the corner office after all!

Posted by Linda and Robin

Wed, August 03, 2011 - 8:43:51

The Power of a Virtual Smile

If you follow us on @ThePowerofSmall on Twitter, then you know how we regularly trade SMALL and NICE tips with our readers and fellow authors and bloggers. We always appreciate the friendly messages sent to us from our followers, which are sometimes as simple as a “Good morning!” And last week, we got a tiny @mention from a reader that sparked a big idea. The message?

“:)”

That little emoticon might not seem like much, but it brightened up our morning and made us wonder: ‘What if each one of us took a millisecond out of our busy days to send a virtual smile to someone else?’ So, we reached out to our followers and encouraged them to do so, sending a little ☺ and tagging it with the hashtag #passasmile. (Think of it as one very NICE game of tag in which everybody wins.)

With so much talk of negativity on the Internet, our little smile experiment proved once again that even our smallest actions make a difference, and help to spin a Web of kindness. As morning gave way to afternoon, we watched as #passasmile made its way from person to person, numbering a few hundred by the day’s end.

Whether or not you participated, #passasmile serves as a great reminder of how we can all harness the power of NICE to make a real impact in the lives of others. Truly no NICE gesture is insignificant, no matter how small. And, although you might never have expected it, the simple combination of a “:” and a “)” can be all you need to make someone “:)”.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Wed, July 27, 2011 - 11:25:52

Managers Make Nice

One of the questions we’re frequently asked is a simple one: “Can you really be nice and be successful in business at the same time?” As the authors of THE POWER OF NICE: How to Conquer the Business World with Kindness, our answer should come as no surprise. The truth is: being NICE will propel you forward in ways that being cutthroat, mean-spirited, and selfish never will, especially as a manager. Making NICE the backbone of your management strategy can revolutionize your workplace—and it doesn’t mean you can’t be tough when necessary.

As Suzanne Lucas writes in a recent BNet article, one of the worst things a manager can do is coddle their employees, which, contrary to what you might think, has nothing to do with being NICE. In fact, providing negative feedback, saying “no,” and letting your employees take accountability for their own projects are all integral to a NICE management style—but how you approach it makes all the difference.

Here are a few NICE tips for managers:

Serve up a “Yes Sandwich:” Many managers have difficulty telling employees where they need to improve for fear of hurt feelings. But, in reality, failing to provide constructive criticism to employees when necessary can have a much more detrimental effect and that’s why this NICE approach works wonders. Simply start by giving your employee a positive piece of feedback, then address the issue of concern, and follow with another positive truth.

Say “yes” to something else: You can’t say, “yes,” to everything, but you can say no by saying yes to something else. As a manager, this can help you in some very tricky situations, such as if an employee is struggling in their current position. Try saying, “Yes, your talents lie elsewhere,” and look to their strengths to help guide them toward a more suitable position within your own company, where they can flourish.

Let them find the answer: It can be tempting to try to solve every problem yourself, but doing so isn’t really helping. So, take a step back and let your employees to problem solve themselves. If they’re really floundering, you can guide them toward the answer, while still allowing them to find it in the end. Not only does this help them become more independent workers, it boosts confidence, and consequently, morale.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Tue, July 19, 2011 - 12:36:01

Nice is Truly in the Cards

Yankee fans certainly weren’t surprised when superstar shortstop Derek Jeter hit his 3,000th homerun earlier this week. It was what happened directly after that sparked everyone’s interest. Upon catching the historic baseball, 23 year-old Christian Lopez returned it to the famous player, noting that Jeter deserved to have it as a keepsake. Considering that Lopez could very easily have sold the piece of iconic sports memorabilia for a hefty sum, the act of kindness was particularly telling of the recent college graduate’s character. And it’s one that’s now being rewarded, showing once again that it pays to be nice.

As the San Francisco Gate reports, the people at baseball card manufacturer, Topps, were so touched by Lopez’s sportsmanly conduct that they will include a baseball card featuring his face in their new sets this year. But, that’s not the friendly fan’s only reward: he’s also getting at least $50 thousand toward his outstanding student loans from sports memorabilia dealer, Brandon Steiner, and sporting goods executive, Mitch Modell.

Of course, in our digital age, there’s another added bonus that could have even more lasting effects. Christian Lopez’s kind gesture is forever inked online. Although he probably never considered it at the time, his widely reported act of selflessness could actually have a positive impact on his future career prospects, since more and more hiring managers head to the web to vet new candidates. With a simple Google search, they’ll see that Lopez isn’t just a NICE guy; he’s a real “team player.”

Posted by Linda and Robin

Thu, July 14, 2011 - 12:31:52

“Kissing Down” Can Help You Kick Up Your Career

In our dog-eat-dog business world, the rule of thumb has always been to “kiss up” to the boss, while stepping on the backs of your colleagues. But, in our experience, we’ve found that adopting that mentality is one of the worst mistakes you can make. As author Mike Figliuolo recently wrote on his blog, it’s often those who kiss down and kick up that make the best managers, and thus excel in their careers.

As a manager, there will inevitably be times when you will need to give feedback to your employees, and others when you will feel the need to push back to the higher ups. And the Kick Up/Kiss Down approach provides an excellent groundwork for handling both of these situations with ease. Figliuolo explains:

The basic premise of kick up, kiss down is a leader’s job is to keep “higher ups” mindful of how their decisions affect the leader’s people and give the higher ups a pointed kick when they have a negative impact on the team. The second part about kissing down reminds the leader to praise and encourage the team whenever the opportunity arises. It is obviously the opposite of the “kiss up, kick down” doctrine that can be alarmingly prevalent among managers.

Delivering positive feedback to your employees on a consistent basis is one of the easiest ways you can plant positive seeds as a manager, but you can also “kiss down” when you need to deliver negative feedback, by using an approach we like to call the “yes sandwich.” Begin with a positive statement, then make your critical note, and follow up with another positive truth. It’s not about sugar-coating the truth; it’s about presenting your message in a way that will make your employee feel respected, appreciative of your observations, and receptive as a result.

“Kissing down,” sounds easy enough, but you might be wondering: Can you “kick up” and be NICE at the same time? Absolutely. Being NICE doesn’t mean you can’t have an opinion or stand up for what you think is right. Quite the contrary; NICE people just know how to express their opinions in a way that is respectful, tactful, and, consequently, effective.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Thu, July 07, 2011 - 9:41:37

Survival of the Kindest

When we released the POWER OF NICE: How to Conquer the Business World with Kindness, people were shocked by our unconventional assertion that it wasn’t just possible to climb the corporate ladder while being nice; kindness could actually give you a leg up on the competition. But, as we cite in our book, it’s not just a hunch. Kindness, empathy, and strong relationship-building skills have been scientifically documented to provide people with a clear professional and personal advantage.

Recently, we came across an interesting study from the University of California at Berkley that debunks the long-held notion that humans are hard-wired to be selfish and instead are programmed for sharing.  Moreover, people who are the most empathetic are at a greater advantage than their not-so-NICE counterparts.

For example, did you know…

NICE is better under pressure. University researchers found that people who more adept at reading other people’s emotional states are better at maintaining composure and “keeping their cool” in tense situations. This can be a real asset on the job.

NICE gets more respect. Contrary to what many believe, it’s not the cruel, domineering boss that commands the most respect. It’s the NICE one. As Berkley professor Robb Willer explains, “Findings suggest that anyone who acts only in his or her narrow self-interest will be shunned, disrespected, even hated. But those who behave generously with others are held in high esteem by their peers and thus rise in status.”

So, for those of you who still believe the conventional wisdom that NICE guys and gals finish last, we say, “Think again.” As this and countless other evidence shows, NICE isn’t just key to helping you survive; it will actually make you thrive.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Mon, June 27, 2011 - 9:07:38

Loyalty’s Surprising Rewards

Lately, it seems like you can’t go anywhere without hearing about the topic of fidelity. Loyalty—or perhaps, more accurately a lack of it—is a hot topic of the day. And a new study sheds light on one reason why we should all value this NICE trait a bit more. It turns out that being loyal, whether in your personal or professional relationships, has a wealth of benefits.

It might sound counterintuitive, but research has found that people who “job hop” are actually at a disadvantage when compared to their more loyal professional counterparts. Studies show that people who remain with one company long term are not only better compensated; they’re more creative and more productive. For professionals who believe that switching from job to job in search of a more prestigious position is the key to success, this finding is a quite a wake-up call, but it’s also an important insight for companies looking to revamp their employee retention strategies. Because, as it turns out, hiring good people is only part of the battle. Keeping them and allowing them to grow with your organization is in everyone’s best interest.

It’s just another great example of how NICE works, everyday. By forming lasting professional relationships and honoring your commitments at work, you’ll not only be more successful financially, you’ll find you work more effectively as well. Or, in other words, it pays to be NICE, now and forever.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Wed, June 22, 2011 - 10:16:33

School’s Out, But Nice Is In, for Summer: How Teens Can Find a Summer Job the NICE Way

Teens all around the country are celebrating the end of another school year. But, with the end of spring semester, comes the time for many to start thinking about getting a summer job.

Certainly, this digital-savvy generation doesn’t need any help when it comes to harnessing the power of the Web to a summertime gig. But, there’s a low-tech skill that could become their secret weapon when on their summer job hunt. That’s right, we’re talking about the one very powerful four-letter word that should be in every job seeker’s vocabulary: N-I-C-E.

Whether you’re a teen looking for your first part-time job or you’re a parent looking to impart a bit of NICE advice to your son or daughter, start by trying these simple tips:

Obey the “Starbucks Rule.” A leading recruiter once let us in on a great tip: never show up to a job interview with a coffee cup in hand, unless you’ve brought enough for everyone else. Not only is bringing your own drink too casual, it implies that you assumed your host would not be polite enough to offer you something once you arrived. The best bet? Get your caffeine fix before you leave home for the interview.

Get the “Write” Stuff. With email as the primary method of professional communication today, an email thank you note immediately following an interview is a must. But, why not follow with a handwritten note as well? Not only will your gesture speak volumes about your NICE character, its relative rarity will make you a more memorable candidate.

Practice NICE 2.0. More and more hiring managers are turning to social networks to research their job candidates. At this point, you’ve probably made sure to remove unflattering pictures from your profile, but what about your status updates, tweets and blog posts? If they seem snarky, rude, or offensive, you may want to consider giving them a facelift.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Sun, June 12, 2011 - 12:32:01

A NICE Treat

Earlier this week, a friend of ours emailed us a great story from the Baltimore Sun’s blog, Dining@Large. Contrary to what you might think, it wasn’t a restaurant review or recipe; instead it was a short, but powerful account of a random act of kindness.

As the Sun’s restaurant critic, Richard Gorelick writes:

Last night at Woodberry Kitchen, the patrons dining on the patio, about 20 in all at separate tables, were informed by their server that a patron dining inside was picking up all of their checks. I heard this from one of the appreciative diners, a pay-it-forward type guy.

The patio diners were told that their benefactor just wanted to do it. The gentleman who paid the patio checks was quietly pointed out to the patio diners but his back was to them.

That sure was nice. Give or take, the checks would have come to $1,000.

Although it was certainly a grand gesture, the story serves as a fantastic reminder of the idea of “paying it forward.” No matter how small, every kind gesture we make has the potential to begin a ripple effect. While it’s certainly nice, you don’t have to spend $1,000 to make someone else’s day brighter; every small act counts. So, with this story as inspiration, why not challenge yourself to pay it forward today and do something nice for someone else? We think you’ll find the feeling you get from the kind act itself is reward enough.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Wed, June 01, 2011 - 3:53:22

To the Class of 2011: Be Nice

It’s graduation season and with it, college commencement speeches are hitting the Web, inspiring new grads and seasoned professionals alike. The latest going viral is a humorous and heartfelt Class Day address from actress Amy Poehler to undergraduates at Harvard University. Her message boiled down to one simple idea that we understand very well, and one in which we believe whole-heartedly: there’s nothing more powerful than kindness.

In her 15-minute speech, the Parks and Recreation star tells graduates:

“You can’t do it alone. As you navigate through the rest of your life be open to collaboration. Other people and other people’s ideas are often better than your own. Find a group of people who challenge and inspire you, spend a lot of time with them, and it will change your life. No one is here today because they did it on their own.”

Of course, we couldn’t agree more. When you check your ego, let the other guy be smarter, say “yes and…” and really listen to what others have to say, you open yourself up to a wealth of ideas you might have never discovered on your own, and as a result boost your chances for success.

Whether you’re just starting out in the workforce or you’ve been steadily climbing the corporate ladder and are looking for new strategies to propel you forward, there’s nothing more effective than harnessing the power of NICE to plant positive seeds and forge strong connections that can help you in ways that you could never imagine.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Mon, May 23, 2011 - 3:47:29

A New Reason to Like Your Coworkers

We don’t have to tell you what an important role your coworkers can have on your overall job satisfaction. When your team has a great dynamic, you get more done more effectively and in less time. But, what if we told you that the benefits of having coworkers you love extend far outside the four walls of your office. In fact, there’s another reason to love your coworkers: research suggests they can actually help you live longer.

As Mediabistro reports, Researchers at Tel Aviv University studied 820 men and women for ten years, beginning in 1998, looking at their medical records in relation to their responses to questions about their professional, particularly whether their co-workers “were helpful in solving problems and were friendly.”

The result? From examining their medical records and visiting with participants over the course of a decade, the researchers found that those who described their coworkers as friendly and helpful were healthier and, on average, lived longer than those who did not.

If that’s not a reason to be NICE at work, then we don’t know what is! Not only can your kind actions directly impact the health of your fellow coworkers, your positive and helpful attitude will encourage them to reciprocate through the power of emotional contagion. And that means you can kick off a powerful chain reaction of kindness, courtesy, and respect that doesn’t just make your life easier at work, it makes it better all around.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Fri, May 20, 2011 - 3:38:00

LinkedIn Users Say NICE is a Valuable Career Investment

With its groundbreaking IPO this week, people have been buzzing about professional networking site, LinkedIn. But, a few days ago, we noticed that a number of LinkedIn users were buzzing about a different topic: THE POWER OF NICE. And specifically, whether it was really possible to be NICE in business and still be successful.

That simple question really struck a nerve, generating pages of responses—and we’re happy to report that for the most part, the vast majority of respondents agreed that yes, you can be NICE and be successful in business.

Well, we’d like to take that statement a step further—it’s not just that it’s possible to be NICE and be successful in business. Being NICE—i.e. practicing empathy, cooperation, courtesy, and good communication—is one of the proven business skills that make success possible.

Sure, there are times when the idea of being “nice” gets a bad rap—and some people think of it as being synonymous with being a pushover. But, the truth is, being kind to others—whether in your professional or personal life—has nothing to do with weakness. Rather, N-I-C-E is one of the toughest four-letter words you’ll ever hear. (And as two women who grew up in the Bronx, we’ve heard a lot of them.)

NICE people accomplish their goals and get ahead by building positive connections, making the right impression, and collaborating with others. They understand that their actions can have a ripple effect and they harness their power to benefit themselves as well as others. And, contrary to what some people believe, NICE people aren’t afraid to speak their minds, voice their opinions, and stand up for what they believe in—they just do so tactfully, in a manner that respects the feelings of others.

So, if you believe in the power of NICE, we invite you to join the conversation and let others know how NICE has worked for you. Then one by one, we’ll continue to spread the message that NICE guys—and gals—really do finish first!

Posted by Linda and Robin

Wed, May 11, 2011 - 3:05:04

The Surprising Link Between Productivity and Family Friendly Workplaces

If we told you that family-friendly workplaces are also some of the most productive, you probably wouldn’t be too surprised. After all, it seems only natural that workers who know their employers value their family lives will be more willing and able to devote their attention to work matters. But, as a study recently highlighted on author Daniel Pink’s blog reveals, there’s a bit more it. And it all boils down to one simple yet powerful truth: it pays to be nice.

According to a study conducted by professors Nick Bloom of Stanford University and Tobias Kretschmer, and John van Reenen, both of The London School of Economics and Political Science, companies that are the most family-friendly are also the most well run. And what’s more, “firms with a higher proportion of female managers and more skilled workers tend to implement more family friendly workplaces.” As Pink points out, this not only promotes employee retention within the ranks, it acts as a draw for new female hires, especially within managerial roles. And this can kick off a positive chain reaction.

Not long ago, Jeffrey Pfeffer pointed out in a controversial piece for the Harvard Business Review that women in management positions differ greatly from men in that they are less likely “to “pursue power-based influence strategies, are more bothered by and disfavor hierarchical relationships, [are] less motivated to dominate others, and they are less likely to take actions to attain power,” while they are re more apt to rely on interpersonal relationships and peer-to-peer communication in the operation of their organizations.

While Pfeffer viewed this negatively, Bloom, Kretschmer, and van Reenen’s study is just further evidence that NICE wins. So-called soft skills aren’t a weakness—quite the contrary. In fact, a well-known Catalyst study found that companies with a higher percentage of women in leadership positions financially outperform all others. And as this latest round of findings reveal, their management strategies can be vital to creating not only happy employees, but healthy profits as well.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Sat, May 07, 2011 - 8:59:56

A NICE Boss Never Says…

Recently, we came across a Business Insider article that really got us thinking. In it, Dylan Love discusses the ten things great bosses never say—and while we think it’s a good start, we think the list could use a few additions.

The original list includes a number of excellent—and NICE—ideas, centering on the concept that little comments managers make to their employees can have a profound effect on an office’s productivity, mood, and effectiveness. And that’s not just a hunch. In fact, numerous studies have found that comments from an immediate manager have a high impact on overall job happiness. So, simply learning what—and what not—to say at work can promote greater employee retention.

Love’s Business Insider list includes many of the phrases you might expect, like: “There’s nothing I can do,” “It’s always been that way,” and “If you don’t like it, work somewhere else.” But, there are a number of other potentially damaging statements you could be making every day that—some quite counter-intuitively—could be doing you and your employees harm.

So, if you want to harness the power of NICE at work, it’s best to keep these sentences off of your lips:

“Quit joking around.” When you’re faced with a tough challenge, you have to get serious, right? Wrong. Multiple studies have found that people are most effective at problem solving when they are in a good mood—and that means that starting a meeting with a few jokes and witty banter could have you laughing all the way to the bank.

“That’s a bad idea.” Even if it’s ridiculous, don’t immediately write off a seemingly bad idea. Instead, take a tip from improv comedy and say “yes and…” That way, you will give the idea the chance to evolve as more and more people contribute their input. By creating a supportive culture of sharing, employees will feel more comfortable voicing their thoughts—and that increases everyone’s chances for success at every turn.

“I need that A.S.A.P.” What’s wrong with this sentence? We’ll give you a hint: it’s not what’s being said; it’s what isn’t. This perfectly reasonable request is simply missing one little—but vital—word: “please.” Often, we’re in such a hurry to meet our daily deadlines that so-called non-essential words like, “please” and “thank you” are the first to go from our office lexicon. But, they’re by no means insignificant. In fact, they can go a long way toward making your employees feel valued, and consequently, happier on the job.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Mon, May 02, 2011 - 8:55:44

MoMA Gets the Write Stuff—and Grabs Attention—on the Web

The Museum of Modern Art recently garnered a lot of attention across the Web…and for a rather surprising reason. It wasn’t a controversial new exhibition, sought after acquisition, or even the appointment of a new senior level staff-member. No, it was something much simpler: a handwritten note, or rather, a large collection of them displayed on their website.

As part of the project, MoMA visitors simply completed the statement, “I went to MoMA and…” with their own experiences, in their own writing—an idiosyncratic and distinctly human touch, that made them so eye-catching, particularly when presented within a digital framework. But, “I went to MoMA and…” wasn’t only an innovative piece of Web design, it was also a great reminder of how something as simple as a handwritten note can make a big impact.

Why? Because in today’s digital world, the handwritten note is a bit of a rarity—and although it certainly isn’t a practical means of everyday correspondence, it can be just the thing to help you leave a lasting positive impression. Sure, it doesn’t take a huge amount of effort, but sending a handwritten note by snail mail is just one way you can go the extra inch in your professional and personal life.

If you’re feeling skeptical, just think about it. When was the last time you received anything more personal than a bank statement in your mailbox? Now, think about how delighted—even special—you might feel if you received a friendly note from a friend or associate. Chances are, it’s something you’d be much more likely to remember than any of the emails you’d received that day.

We won’t pretend that e-mail, Facebook, Twitter, and texting aren’t an important part of our daily communications. But, every once in a while, take out that pen and paper and get the write stuff.  It’s not just a small, nice gesture; it’s a powerful one.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Fri, April 29, 2011 - 8:46:42

Become a “Yes and” Man…Or Woman

In our book, THE POWER OF NICE: How to Conquer the Business World with Kindness, we explained how you can harness the power of positivity and “Yes” your way to the top. And, now with the release of Tina Fey’s new bestselling book Bossypants, we’re seeing even more evidence that our strategy works.

In a recent interview with Google chairman, Bill Schmidt, Fey explains that she learned some of her most valuable lessons about business and management from a very unlikely source: improvisation. And, just as in sketch comedy, in business there is one word that is more damaging to collaboration, creativity, and innovation than any other: “No.”

As we write in THE POWER OF NICE, the problem with “no,” whether it’s on an improv stage or around a conference table, is that it stops everyone in their tracks and zaps the energy from a room. When you say “yes” or even better, “yes and…” you keep things moving in a positive direction. Even if it’s not the best idea you’ve heard all day, when you say “yes and” you allow the idea to grow, shift, and change, evolving as more and more people agree and contribute their input. And by establishing a positive, receptive environment from the start, everyone will feel more comfortable sharing their thoughts, thus boosting not only productivity, but teamwork as well.

That’s why we believe you should become a “Yes and” man (or woman) at work—and contrary to what you might think, doing so doesn’t make you spineless, weak, or a pushover. In fact, “yes” can become one of the most powerful words in your vocabulary.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Tue, April 26, 2011 - 10:02:02

Cherry Card: The Cherry on Top for Businesses and Consumers Alike

Cause-based marketing has become one of the biggest business trends for 2011, and it’s easy to see why. Everybody wins; companies make money while giving back, worthy causes get the support they need, and consumers get to feel good about the purchases they’re making. And as The New York Times recently reported, there’s a new company helping other businesses make NICE automatic—and reap the rewards because of it.

Known as CherryCard, the company describes themselves as providing “a turnkey cause based marketing solution for merchants of all kinds that allows consumers to give a percentage of their purchases to the cause of their choice (at no cost to the consumer.)” Essentially, they sell cards—25-cent vouchers—to retailers who then pass them onto customers however they like, ideally one with every purchase. After receiving their CherryCard, customers head to the website, redeem the card, and select a charity to receive their donation.

In essence, CherryCard lets companies cater their social good programs to individual customers, letting each one choose the causes that matter most to them. This in turn, not only promotes an atmosphere of goodwill between businesses and consumers, it encourages loyalty and word of mouth.

It’s just one more example of how it really does pay to be NICE. Although we’re constantly bombarded by the message that business is a dog-eat-dog world, where only the fiercest can survive, the growing trend of corporate kindness shows that you truly can succeed by basing your business on good intentions.  So, try tugging at your customers heartstring’s. It just might strengthen your ties.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Wed, April 20, 2011 - 10:12:45

Look Like a Leader

In our so-called “dog-eat-dog” business world, the prevailing wisdom has always been that an aggressive personality, cutthroat ambition, and take-no-prisoners attitude have been integral to climbing the corporate ladder. Similarly, those traits have often been associated with successful leadership. But, as Harvard Business School Assistant Professor Amy Cuddy explains in a recent video for the Harvard Business Review, you don’t need to have a domineering personality or talk over your peers to establish yourself as a leader. In fact, you don’t even need to say a word. All you need to do is harness the power of body language.

Strong leaders, Cuddy says, typically exhibit higher levels of testosterone and lower levels of cortisol (the stress hormone) than others, but fortunately, these are not genetic traits. Instead, the physical postures normally associated with power—standing up straight, using open gestures, and smiling confidently, for example—actually trigger the release of testosterone and reduce cortisol. So, by simply looking like a leader, you can feel more like one, too.

In a recent email newsletter, body language expert Carol Kinsey Goman, Ph.D. shares a few tips to help you get started:

• Think of an occasion where you were enthused, confident and successful.
• Picture that past event clearly in your mind. Recall the feeling of certainty, of achievement, of clarity of purpose – and remember or imagine how you drew people to you as you embodied that state of mind.
• Then, picture yourself at the upcoming meeting exuding that same positive attitude and personal charisma. The more you repeat this mental rehearsal – seeing yourself at the upcoming meeting, assured, confident and charismatic, the more you increase your ability to enter the meeting room with body language that is triggered by that authentic, positive emotion.

What’s more, by harnessing the power of your body language, you can make NICE work for you even more effectively. There’s a common misconception that NICE people simply don’t have what it takes to get ahead; that they’re weak, spineless pushovers who can’t make decisions, not to mention lead a team. But, nothing could be further from the truth. As we’ve learned from experience—and as recent scientific research supports—NICE people possess some of the most valuable leadership traits there are: empathy, listening, collaboration, and communication. They might be called “soft skills,” but there’s hard evidence that they are vital to effective management. And when exhibited by a poised and self-assured leader, they become even more potent.

So, stand up straight, put your shoulders back, and let those POWER poses work for you. That way you’ll plant positive seeds wherever you go and still “show ‘em who’s boss.”

Posted by Linda and Robin

Fri, April 15, 2011 - 8:59:55

The Sum of Your Actions: It Pays to be Nice

Having made it to the top of our industry using flowers and chocolates instead of spears and intimidation, you don’t have to try hard to convince us that it pays to be nice. We’ve experienced its benefits for ourselves and continue to reap the rewards of NICE every day. But, you can imagine our enthusiasm, when we came across a recent article detailing the mathematical proof of the power of nice.

Martin Nowak, a professor of mathematics and biology at Harvard University explains in an interview with The New Scientist, that NICE traits like cooperation and kindness have been integral to human survival and growth:

When you look at mathematical models for the evolution of cooperation you also find that winning strategies must be generous, hopeful and forgiving […]
Now, for the first time, we can see these ideas in terms of mathematics. Who would have thought that you could prove mathematically that, in a world where everybody is out for himself, the winning strategy is to be forgiving, and that those who cannot forgive can never win?

In other words, it’s not such a dog-eat-dog world after all. And although our NICE strategies for success in the business world—cooperating, sharing the credit, and helping your so-called enemies, to name a few—might sound counterintuitive, they’re actually the very same methods that have helped people prosper for as long as time itself.

Why do they work? The answer is simple. When you practice NICE in everything you do, you create a network of positive connections—something we like to call planting “positive seeds.” The greater emphasis you place on incorporating NICE into each of your daily interactions, the more fertile a universe you create for yourself. This, in turn, nourishes those seeds, allowing them to grow into valuable professional and personal relationships than help you move closer toward your goals.

So, now that you have both our anecdotal evidence and mathematical proof, what more reason do you need to be NICE?

Posted by Linda and Robin

Wed, April 13, 2011 - 11:59:00

Everyone’s a Critic, but It Pays to Be Nice

There is no denying that as a manager, there will be times when you must deliver negative feedback. After all, no one would suggest that ignoring an employee’s egregious error or serious repeated issue is the key to creating a healthier and more productive workplace. And in fact, failing to offer constructive criticism when necessary isn’t NICE at all. But, with that said, it’s essential to learn how to do so in a manner that is both informative and helpful.

Luckily, it’s simple. Start with a positive truth, then deliver the criticism, and follow with another positive statement. We call this method the “Yes Sandwich,” and we think you’ll discover it’s a technique that leaves a good taste in everyone’s mouths.

For example, “Our client keeps telling me how impressed they’ve been with your ideas.  However, recently, I’ve heard that you’ve cancelled a few meetings at the last minute and they were very disappointed. Because the client values your thoughts so much, it’s important to all of us that you are there to share your smart observations.”

Unfortunately, many professionals mistakenly believe that criticism—any criticism—is more effective than praise when it comes to improving employee performance. 

Why? Authors Linda Hill and Kent Lineback explain on their HBR blog that criticism’s illusory effect is produced by a natural human behavior known as “regression to mean:” a great performance will be followed by a lackluster one; a terrible performance will be trailed by a better one. In the middle, you have the mean—your average performance.

But, as Hill and Lineback point out, frequently criticism doesn’t normally take the average into consideration. Instead it focuses squarely on one extreme: the negative. Rather than being motivational and constructive (unlike a “Yes Sandwich”), it’s often deflating and counter-productive.  But, because it’s normally delivered directly following a poor performance—and before the resulting natural performance upswing, or return to mean—it appears to produce a deceptively desirable result.

The power of positive feedback delivered on a regular basis, on the other hand, when coupled with a “Yes Sandwich” from time to time can produce powerful results. You’ll find it’s not only more effective at enhancing your employees’ performance; it will actually keep them motivated. And that means you’ll be more likely to hold on to your best workers longer.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Tue, April 12, 2011 - 11:51:47

Rejection Hurts

Love hurts/ love scars/ love wounds/ and mars.

They may be the lyrics to a classic power ballad, but it turns out that the above statement is also a scientifically proven fact, at least when it comes to being rejected.

According to a study published recently in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, the human brain processes the pain of rejection in exactly the same way it processes physical pain.

Although the study focused solely on individuals who had recently been on the receiving end of a romantic rejection, it serves as a powerful reminder of how painful any rejection can be, even in the business world, where “It’s nothing personal, it’s just business,” has become a common refrain.

Whether it’s a big rejection, like the denial of a job application, or a smaller one, such as the selection of one idea over another, they can be hurtful to the individuals who are on the receiving end—and that’s why it’s essential to handle those situations with care.

But, it’s not about sugarcoating the issue or failing to say “no” when necessary. It’s about harnessing the power of empathy to strengthen your relationships and plant positive seeds wherever you go. After all, as we write in the POWER OF NICE: How to Conquer the Business World with Kindness, “you never know.” By handling rejection—a situation rife with the potential for hurt feelings—kindly, you leave the door open for future opportunities. Not only do you show the other person that their feelings matter to you, you represent yourself as someone who is genuine, mature, and able to handle even the stickiest of situations with grace, which can leave a lasting impression.

And that’s the POWER OF NICE.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Mon, April 04, 2011 - 8:53:23

Tears in the Workplace

In A League of their Own, Tom Hanks famously tells one of his players, “There’s no crying in baseball.” But, what about in business? That’s the question a recent Today Show segment with author Anne Kreamer asked. And it got us thinking… no matter what your feelings about crying at the workplace might be, chances are, as a manager, you’ll encounter the situation with one of your employees at some point. So, it’s important to know how to deal with it when it occurs.

As firm believers in harnessing the POWER OF NICE to keep your employees happy, creative, and motivated, we’d like to think that there would never be a time when an employee might shed a few tears on the job. But, with the pressures of daily life, career ambitions, and at-home responsibilities, occasionally, it can happen. As Anne Kreamer explains, most of the time when people cry at work, it’s not because they are sad or depressed. It’s because they’re frustrated and feel like they aren’t being heard.

So, how, as a manager, do you navigate the situation? Try these tips.

Put your head on their shoulders. As we write in our book, THE POWER OF NICE: How to Conquer the Business World with Kindness, empathy is the most valuable professional skill there is. So, use it.  Instead of instantly dismissing an employee’s emotional outburst as an overreaction, stop and consider the situation from their perspective. Ask yourself how you might feel if you were in his or her shoes. 

Shut up and listen. One of the biggest mistakes you can make when attempting to console someone who is upset is to assume you know how they are feeling. So before you start talking, listen first. By lending an ear, you can gain valuable insights, establish trust, and promote calm.

Get curious. After you’ve listened to your employee explain why he or she is upset, ask a few follow up questions. Getting answers to queries like, “How do you think the scenario could have been handled differently?” and “What specifically made you feel upset?” can help you navigate—and even prevent—situations like this from occurring in the future.

A boss who values his or her employee’s feelings? Now, that’s nothing to cry about.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Fri, April 01, 2011 - 8:49:31

Humor: A Serious Career Asset

This April Fools Day, a number of companies came up with some clever pranks they played on consumers. From Google’s widely publicized search prank, which automatically converted your browser font to Comic Sans when you queried the keyword “Helvetica,” to Starbucks’ playful announcement of a (unfortunately fictional!) mobile app that would deliver coffee to you anytime, anywhere.

While these humorous efforts certainly helped to drum up publicity, they also underscore an important, yet often-ignored fact. Although business is generally regarded as staunchly serious, a good sense of humor can actually be one of your most valuable career skills, provided you know how to use it wisely.

Why? Because, as a Psychology Today article points out, “Cultivating a humorous mindset helps you see yourself and any situation with a more supple mind so that you are not locked into a negative view.” And when your mind is primed for more flexible thinking, you’ll be more creative and innovative.

It’s something we’ve witnessed time and time again at our agency, the Kaplan Thaler Group. At the start of every brainstorming session before a new campaign, we have a little routine. We start with some witty banter, trade a few jokes, and start off the meeting laughing. We don’t do it because don’t take our work seriously—quite the contrary. We do it because we know that a little laughter can help us produce the kind of creative that generates serious results.

But, as Psychology Today points out, laughter’s positive effects are produced by a very specific type of humor: the nice kind. That’s right: sarcasm, mean-spirited jokes, and insult comedy need not apply when it comes to harnessing the power of humor at work. Being playful, silly, and fun—when appropriate, of course—can be just what you need to open your mind to ideas that can take your career—or your business—to the next level.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Fri, March 25, 2011 - 8:43:29

Surprise: The Secret to Job Satisfaction isn’t a Big Paycheck

A recent study out of the Australian National University found that having a job you hate can be more harmful to your mental health than being unemployed. According to the researchers, who analyzed seven years worth of data from an Australian labor survey for Occupational and Environmental Medicine, “jobs that came with high demands, low decision making control, high insecurity and decreased rewards had a higher negative effect than joblessness.”

Considering that a number of studies have found that unemployment can increase your risk of depression, these findings are particularly alarming.  But, as Tammy Erickson writes on The Harvard Business Review Blog, there is a surprisingly effective way to make your employees not only happier in their jobs, but more productive, too. And contrary to what you might think, it has nothing to do with a pay raise. Instead, it has to do with another sort of boost: an emotional one. Today, more than anything else, employees crave meaning in their work.

As Erickson explains, one of the fastest ways to imbue your work with a greater sense of meaning is to collaborate. Not only does this increase engagement and spur creativity, it actually promotes positivity through the power of emotional contagion. “When employees are engaged, they are excited and enthusiastic about what they’re doing and enjoy pondering current challenges,” she writes. “They invite others in and are emotionally contagious. Engaged employees identify proudly with the organization and their work. These are the conditions that drive individuals’ desires to collaborate in business.”

In other words, playing to people’s positive emotions is one of the best ways to keep your employees happy—and your business healthy. Often, managers make the mistake of relying on bullying and fear-based tactics or overestimate the power of money when it comes to motivation. But, as is true in so many cases, it really pays to lose the ego, collaborate, and be nice.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Mon, March 21, 2011 - 8:47:53

The Pursuit of Happiness: Doing More Harm Than Good?

There’s no question that everyone strives to be happy, but a Wall Street Journal article this week questions whether or not happiness is overrated. Certainly, countless studies have linked a happy disposition to everything from a longer lifespan, to a lasting marriage, and a more successful career. But, some wonder if our “relentless pursuit of happiness” as Shirley S. Wang dubs it, is doing more harm than good.

It turns out that the emotion most people associate with happiness—the rush that comes with the instant gratification of activities like shopping, eating, or watching a funny movie, for example—isn’t really all it’s cracked up to be. What truly makes us happy, it turns out, is the feeling you get from doing something kind for others.

You may have heard of a phenomenon known as the “helper’s high,” discovered in 1991, which delivers a rush of dopamine to the brain’s pleasure receptors upon committing a “random act of kindness.” As a result, people feel calmer, happier, and more confident in the short term.

But, its effects aren’t momentary. In another, more recent study, Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky, a professor at the University of California Riverside and author of The How of Happiness found that performing random acts of kindness on a daily basis can help people feel significantly happier, more relaxed and more fulfilled. And, as the Wall Street Journal explains, simply perceiving your own actions as meaningful has a profound impact on your overall happiness.

In other words, when it comes to your emotional wellbeing, it pays to be nice. What’s more, with practice, being kind to others can become as easy as breathing. And that means you can make others feel better, while reaping the benefits for yourself, with ease.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Fri, March 18, 2011 - 8:39:38

Birds of a Feather Tweet Together

Now more than ever, the social Web’s community of billions reflects the real world communities with which we interact every day. And recent research has found that just as in the real world, like-minded—and like-“mooded”—individuals form their own close-knit groups online.

As Kit Eaton reports for Fast Company, particularly when it comes to Twitter, birds of a feather flock together:

In a paper titled “Happiness is assortative in online social networks,” University of Indiana researcher Johan Bollen and other authors conclude that “Social networks tend to disproportionally favor connections between individuals with either similar or dissimilar characteristics. This propensity, referred to as assortative mixing or homophily, is expressed as the correlation between attribute values of nearest neighbour vertices in a graph.”

The social network analysis highlighted that “results indicate that beyond demographic features such as age, sex and race, even psychological states such as “loneliness” can be assortative in a social network.”

And in that last regard, we’re pretty sure that these researchers are onto something.

Here are a few great examples of how NICE has brought people together online:

Twestival: This annual Twitter festival that brings do-gooders from cities around the world together to effect positive change in their communities.

The Kindness Meme: Started by Yummy Mummy Club blogger Candace Derickx, the #bekind hashtag was the first step of the blog team’s effort to spread a wave of kindness across the Web. The week-long effort, intended to promote positivity online quickly caught the attention of fellow NICE tweeps—and it soon made #benice a worldwide trending topic!

World Compliment Day: People often associate Twitter with snarky commentary, but recently World Compliment Day became another trending topic, thanks to the hordes of NICE Twitter users virtually celebrating the day together.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Fri, March 11, 2011 - 3:40:14

When Two People Really Compliment Each Other

Warner Brothers Studios recently commissioned a study that looked at the causes of dissatisfaction in long-term, committed relationships and the findings were rather illuminating. The research, which looked at 2,000 couples in the U.K. found that today, people are becoming unhappier in their unions much earlier on, or as one Reuters reporter put it, the “seven year itch” has now become the “three year glitch.”

The usual suspects: dirty dishes, towels on the floor, too much work, and not enough time together were all listed as reasons for romantic discord. But, there was another, perhaps less obvious reason many spouses said they felt unhappy. They claimed they weren’t getting the same reactions from their partners as they used to, specifically when it came to compliments.

Reuters reports:

Those in the first flush of love can look forward to an average of three compliments a week from their partners—a figure which falls to an average of a single weekly compliment at the three-year high tide mark.

The prognosis gets worse the longer we stay in relationships, three in 10 of those surveyed that have been in a relationship for five years or more said that they never receive any compliments from their partners.

In other words, seven out of 10 people surveyed are missing out on a huge opportunity to harness the power of NICE in their relationships. As we write in our book, NICE people aren’t just more successful when it comes to business; they’re also luckier in love. And after reading this study, it’s easy to see why. Being NICE is all about seizing the opportunity to put the needs of someone else before your own, creating positive links, and using the unique power of kindness to create a fertile universe, whether it’s at work, on the go, or in your very own home.

Let’s face it: we’re all busy. And you might even think that with all the hectic demands of your daily life, you just don’t have time for romance. Well, let us ask you something: how much time does it take to look at your mate and say, “Wow, you look great today!” or, “Hey, I love that new shirt.” The truth is, something as seemingly insignificant as a little compliment can make a world of difference in the day of someone you love. Because when you pay a compliment, what you’re really saying is, “Yes, I see you.”

Posted by Linda and Robin

Thu, March 10, 2011 - 1:59:41

NICE gets Happy!

Image courtesy of positivesharing.com
Earlier this week, we were pleased to guest post on one of our favorite blogs, Chief Happiness Officer, and we’d like to extend our thanks to Alexander Kjerulf for making it possible.

In our guest post, we discuss how managers can harness the power of NICE to make their employees feel appreciated—and as a result, transform their workplaces. Numerous studies have shown that feeling undervalued, or even unnoticed, is one of the leading causes for job dissatisfaction among professionals. And you’d be surprised how far even the smallest act of kindness can go to help combat it. To learn more and read our post, please visit Chief Happiness Officer and let us know your thoughts!

Posted by Linda and Robin

Fri, March 04, 2011 - 11:43:39

A Healthy Dose of Optimism

You’ve probably heard the old saying, “an apple a day keeps the doctor away,” but could a smile a day do the same? Medical research indicates that it could. Smiling, as part as an overall positive outlook on life, has been linked to lowered incidences of coronary artery disease and survival of serious illness. In other words, a happy heart is a healthy one.

ABC News reports that researchers for a study just published in the Archives of Internal Medicine found that out of the 3,000 study participants who underwent hospital treatment for heart disease, those who were the most optimistic about their recovery were more likely to live longer than their pessimistic counterparts.

While some skeptics argue that these findings can easily be explained by optimists’ natural tendency to live healthier lifestyles, the evidence pointing to a negative attitude’s detrimental effect on health and wellness is overwhelming. Numerous studies have found that excess stress, along with isolation, loneliness, and prolonged anger, can each have a devastating effect on the body, including weakened immune systems, elevated blood pressure, and high cholesterol.

It’s just another striking example of how positivity truly has the power to change your life, and why an optimistic outlook is an integral part of our NICE philosophy.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Mon, February 28, 2011 - 9:50:39

You Don’t Need an Award to Say “Thank You”

Last night’s Academy Awards featured a number of attention-getting speeches from Colin Firth’s charming words to 71 year-old The King’s Speech screenwriter, David Seidler’s assertion, “My father always told me I would be a late bloomer.” Whether they were sentimental, humorous, or teary eyed, however, each speech had one thing in common: “thank you.”

With the Oscars now over, it got us thinking about the amazing power those two little words can have—and how you can use them to your advantage.

You might be wondering how saying something as commonplace as “thank you” could offer any benefit. But, before you discount the notion completely, try a little experiment. The next time you’re at work, pay close attention to the number of times you hear it. Although it’s become the de facto email signature for many professionals, you might be surprised how little it’s actually uttered out loud.

In fact in our busy workaday world, where many employees complain about feeling unappreciated, saying “thank you” is one of the fastest—not to mention easiest—ways you can boost office morale. Don’t believe us? We can prove it:

Sullivan and Cromwell was one of the oldest and most respected law firms in the country, but despite their excellent reputation, they were routinely losing high value, first-year associates recruited from the top law schools year after year. So, they conducted a survey to find out why they had such a high turnover rate year after year. Was it money? Grueling hours? Boring work? Surprisingly, none of the obvious answers were right. Instead, their survey uncovered an unexpected truth: it was because the young lawyers didn’t feel respected by the partners. In reaction, the firm instituted a policy requiring every partner to say “please” and “thank-you” whenever they made a request. In one year attrition was reversed…and Sullivan and Cromwell was voted the best law firm to work for by American Lawyer magazine.

What’s more, by making “thank you” a required part of your personal workplace vocabulary, you encourage others to do so as well. We’ve often noticed that kindness has a ripple effect, so your considerate way of saying “thanks” could quickly spread from cubicle to cubicle, soon becoming a new part of the office lingo.

A kinder, more polite, and happier workplace: now, that’s something to be thankful for.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Tue, February 22, 2011 - 10:32:53

Sidestep “Sidewalk Rage” With the Power of NICE

We’ve all heard of “road rage,” but did you know that researchers have recently documented a condition called Pedestrian Aggressiveness Syndrome—known in layman’s terms as “sidewalk rage?” It’s true, and as a recent report in The Wall Street Journal explains, for sufferers, it’s no walk in the park.

In fact, the intense, frequent feelings of anger associated with sidewalk rage—feeling furious at those around you for walking too slowly when you’re trying to get through—can have a serious impact on one’s health, dramatically increasing the risk of life-threatening conditions like heart disease and high blood pressure.  But, fortunately, learning to cope with sidewalk rage and, thus, avoid its host of nasty side effects, is a relatively painless process. As psychologists explain, it starts with harnessing the power of NICE.

The Wall Street Journal’s Shirley S. Wang reports: “Some ragers say that thinking insulting thoughts about other pedestrians serves as “mental venting”—and makes them feel better.” Although mentally blowing off steam might seem like the right course of action, doctors caution that it can actually do more harm than good, stating “Even if it does provide some momentary relief, such thinking rehearses bad behavior and can make anger a more automatic reaction to these situations.”

So what’s a sidewalk rager to do?  Cognitive behavioral therapists have found that switching your thinking and devising alternate ways to view the situation that’s angering you is the most effective coping technique. In other words, the best way to handle sidewalk rage and many other angry situations, is to “put your head on their shoulders.”

Instead of muttering what a jerk the slowpoke in front of you is for hampering your schedule, stop, put your head on his shoulders, and consider the situation from his perspective. Perhaps he is from out of town and doesn’t know his way around. Maybe he’s wearing a particularly uncomfortable pair of shoes or has a sprained ankle. When you think about the alternatives—and really, what are the chances that the total stranger ahead of you has deliberately schemed to slow you down?—you can calm your emotions, let go of your anger, and think rationally. And that means if you really need to get by, you can simply say, “Pardon me,” and gently make your way through the crowd instead of blowing your top.

But, this technique isn’t just helpful when it comes to dealing with anger. When you practice your empathy skills, you give yourself a competitive advantage throughout your life. As Daniel Goleman writes in his book, Emotional Intelligence, highly empathetic people are happier, more popular, and are luckier in love. They’re also more successful in their careers.  “Empathetic people are superb at recognizing and meeting the needs of clients, customers, and subordinates,” Goleman explains. “They seem approachable, wanting to hear what people have to say. They listen carefully, picking up on what people are truly concerned about, and respond on the mark.”

And if that’s not an asset, we don’t know what is.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Wed, February 16, 2011 - 1:31:48

“Queen Bees” or Wannabes?

There’s no question that bullying is an increasingly troubling problem facing our nation’s children, but a new scientific study published in the American Sociological Review brings to light some rather optimistic findings. Although so-called “queen bees” and wannabes run rampant in the adolescent social hierarchy, the boys and girls who were considered the most popular of all have one thing in common: they’re nice.

CNN’s Elizabeth Landau reports that children who are at the very top of the social hierarchy exhibit the least amount of aggression when compared to their fellow students and as the study’s lead author Robert Faris suspects, “They have much more to gain by being nice when they’re up at that level than by being cruel.”
What’s more, based on their research, they believe that concentrating on the NICE students at all levels of the popularity hierarchy, can promote a culture that actually prevents bullying.

“Given that the kids who are picking on one another are getting influence from others, an appropriate intervention would be to focus on the kids who aren’t involved in aggressive behavior,” Faris told CNN, continuing, “If you target the bystanders that might have stronger effects on school climate than focusing on particular bullies and victims.”
In other words, by teaching kids to harness the power of NICE, they subsequently take away the bully’s power.

And for anyone who has encountered a workplace bully, you can apply a similar approach to help defend yourself and promote a positive work environment for everyone.
Just as children who are at the mid-levels of popularity are driven by their insecurities to bully others, your adult co-workers’ bullying tactics are likely rooted their own deep-seeded insecurities. 

So, the next time you find yourself on the receiving end of a rude comment, use a NICE trick to defend yourself and try a compliment. It sounds counterintuitive, but it works.
For example, if the bully remarks, “That’s was a pretty lame observation you made at the meeting.” You can respond with a chuckle, saying, “Well, at least you were listening.  Next time, chime in!”

Your assertive yet empathetic and non-aggressive response will deflect the bully’s negative behavior and give him nowhere to go with his attack. Moreover, you’ll put yourself in a positive light among your peers, which can help you climb the corporate ladder the NICE way.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Tue, February 08, 2011 - 10:16:44

Keeping Your Emotions in (Spell) Check

Around the office, we often laugh about Robin’s now-infamous near email disaster, caused by a few tiny keys on her BlackBerry. After writing a long email to a client about the beloved Aflac Duck, she was about to press send when she had the good sense to give the email one more quick read. And it was a good thing, because the email contained a number of typos involving the word “duck” that could have made it one very X-rated, not to mention unintentionally offensive, correspondence.

But, in our hurried digital age, we’ve found that typos aren’t the only email mistakes that can cause offense. Sometimes, it’s the tone that’s to blame. We’ve all received those emails that convey a sense of anger, snarkiness, or sarcasm when that’s not what the sender intended. And although that tone is usually the result of a busy schedule and not a foul mood, it can be hurtful and counterproductive nonetheless. And that’s why we were so pleased to read about a new plugin that scans your email for tone—essentially a “spell check” for your emotions.

As Mashable reports, ToneCheck scans outgoing messages for tone and alerts the author to any words or phrases that might be misinterpreted by the reader. As more and more of our daily communications are handled by text instead of voice, ToneCheck’s maker, Lymbix, reports that email misunderstandings are becoming a bigger problem in the workplace, and with this simple fix, those little relationship damagers can be avoided.

So, whether or not you opt for ToneCheck, give yourself a minute to re-read that email before you press send. After all, as we like to say, “Little mistakes can spell disaster.”

Posted by Linda and Robin

Fri, February 04, 2011 - 9:49:37

Lighten Up and Your Business Could Be Laughing All the Way to the Bank

At our agency, the Kaplan Thaler Group, it’s no secret that we take our business seriously. But, the key to getting down to many of our breakthrough, Bang! ideas might surprise you. Contrary to what you might think, sometimes the best way to handle a critical situation is to stop being so serious and cut loose.
By now, we all know that physical exercise is good for your body and mental exercise is great for your brain, but there’s another work-out that can boost your creativity and therefore benefit your business, and that’s emotional exercise. Sometimes, it comes in the form of a heartfelt story, which can help prime a group’s mind to generate ideas for a campaign that really tugs at the heartstrings. But, many other times, we’ve found that starting off a meeting with a few jokes and a bit of playful banter can set us up for success.

And we’re not the only ones who’ve found that kidding around can net you respectable results. In fact, it’s the primary focus of a Los Angeles Times profile of Dick Costolo, the CEO of one of the tech world’s most talked about companies, Twitter. It turns out that the savvy entrepreneur is also a bit of a comedian, having been the member of an improvisational comedy troupe in Chicago before launching his career in the technology sector—and humor and improvisation have played important roles in his approach to business ever since.

Of his time as an improv actor, the Times writes:

One of his most popular gigs was “Modern Problems in Science,” in which three comedians would ask the audience for absurd scientific hypotheses and academic disciplines such as professor of Russian literature, meteorology or ichthyology (the study of fish). They would then have to use those disciplines, and plenty of mumbo jumbo, to prove that Earth is shaped like a giant burrito or that Keanu Reeves’ success is the source of all global conflict.

As an entrepreneur, Costolo took this ability to think on his feet, harness the improv mantra “yes and,” and generate creative solutions to new problems in the digital world, launching a string of successful companies before joining Twitter last year. And in his short time there, the company has already begun to experience a positive difference, strengthening its advertising strategy and enhancing its user experience.

It’s certainly not an unfamiliar idea in our own business. Linda first discovered the value of improv while working in a comedy troupe many years ago and since launching the agency, we’ve even sent our employees to spend a day learning from the legendary comedy troupe, Chicago City limits.

The basic tenet of improv is that the human condition is either tragic or comedic and by simply reacting to others you will naturally be either one, without even thinking about it. It is difficult to not “think” but just listen and react, but when you think about your funniest comments they usually are hilarious because you are tapping into an insight or drawing a similarity between two disparate situations or events. Just think of the famous Woody Allen line: “You think God is hard to find, try looking for a plumber on a Sunday!” And really, the less you filter your reactions, the funnier they are. Some of the pithiest insights and funniest remarks come from those people who use their ears, and not their mouths.

So, forget about the conventional wisdom that in order to get major results, you have to be deadly serious all the time. When you let loose and improvise, you can stretch your thinking and find inspiration for the most revolutionary ideas when you least expect them.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Mon, January 31, 2011 - 8:52:13

Unlocking the Secrets of the Smile

In a fascinating article for the New York Times this week, Carl Zimmer details new research conducted by Dr. Paula Niedenthal, a professor at Blaise Pascal University, who sought to build a new scientific model for the smile. As her exhaustive study found, the human brain is able to pick up number of nearly imperceptible subtleties that separate genuine smiles from the fake ones. And each variant of the smile can have a profound effect on the emotions of others.

Niedenthal and her colleagues explain in the Journal of Behavioral and Brain Sciences, “smiles are not simply the expression of an internal feeling. Smiles in fact are only the most visible part of an intimate melding between two minds.” What better evidence of the Power of Nice?

As we recently wrote here on the NICE blog, being kind isn’t about being a phony. It’s about being genuine. And just as being disingenuous is counterproductive, so it turns out is a counterfeit smile.

Dr. Carol Kinsey Goman wrote on her blog that the human brain is naturally programmed to prefer smiles over any other expression and that the eye can recognize a smiling face from more than 300 feet away. But, as Neidenthal’s research shows, the mind’s ability to recognize and analyze a smile’s true meaning goes much deeper; enabling us to detect a wide scope of non-verbal cues from a friendly greeting, to a so-called “dominant smile” intended to intimidate the recipient.

But, there’s actually one occasion when faking a smile can be beneficial: when you’re in a bad mood. According to Dr. Goman the action needed to produce a fake smile promotes a positive effect on your body temperature, heart rate, and mood.  That, as a result, could turn what began as a half-hearted smile into a genuine grin, translate to others as such, and kickstart a positive chain of interactions that could have a huge payoff.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Fri, January 28, 2011 - 8:46:52

The End of the Lone Genius Era Isn’t Such a Bad Thing

In this week’s State of the Union address, President Barack Obama sent out a call to action to all Americans to innovate, and his message inspired a very thoughtful WiredScience blog post by Jonah Lehrer in which he asks if the era of so-called “Lone Genius” is over. Though he theorizes that our warp-speed world has made the solitary innovator a thing of the past, quite counter-intuitively it doesn’t bode poorly for our future. Instead, it’s just the opposite; co-working and collaboration will be integral to future economic prosperity. And that’s why NICE matters now more than ever.

At the Kaplan Thaler Group, we’ve operated from day one on the idea that teamwork inspires the biggest bangs—and by working together, we’re able to coax them out of the tiniest grains of ideas. But, before you can spark those moments of inspiration, you have to create an environment where they’re able to catch fire. In other words, you need to integrate NICE into your workplace culture.

Contrary to what you might think, this doesn’t mean holding your opinions back, failing to deliver feedback when necessary, or forgoing your own ambitions. It means creating an atmosphere in which everyone’s input is valued and each person feels heard, whether it’s by consistently responding to emails and phone calls, saying “thank you”, listening, or sharing the credit.

Although these may seem like small, almost inconsequential actions on their own, built upon one another they can have a striking impact on your business’ culture, and that in turn can boost your productivity, ingenuity, and profits… and that’s not just a hunch based on our own experience building a billion-dollar business from the ground up. It’s based on solid academic research.

As our fellow blogger, Alex Kjerulf (a.k.a. the “Chief Happiness Officer”) writes, Teresa M. Amabile, a professor at the Harvard Business School, found that happy employees are not only more productive, they’re more inspired day after day.

If people are in a good mood on a given day, they’re more likely to have creative ideas that day, as well as the next day, even if we take into account their mood that next day.

There seems to be a cognitive process that gets set up when people are feeling good that leads to more flexible, fluent, and original thinking, and there’s actually a carryover, an incubation effect, to the next day.

And because of the scientifically-documented powers of emotional contagion, the happier some of your employees are, the happier the others will be as well, meaning not only will your office be a great place to work; it will become a fertile breeding ground for moments of collaborative genius.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Thu, January 20, 2011 - 9:44:01

Should You Stop Being So NICE?

Let’s face it: NICE has a bit of an image problem. And nowhere was this more apparent than in a post we came across by Marcia Reynolds on Psychology Today recently. In it, she writes: “There is a limit to the results being nice will get you. Fundamentally, it is better to be nice than rude and we like people who are fair better than those who are selfish. But too much congeniality is counterproductive.” In other words, NICE doesn’t always pay.

Well, this couldn’t be further from the truth. Being genuinely nice can be quite a rewarding experience—emotionally and otherwise. It’s the slick glad handlers that get into trouble…and that has nothing to do with NICE. Quite the contrary: laying it on thick with disingenuous praise isn’t NICE at all. When it comes to being kind, real gestures reign supreme—and few would interpret them otherwise.

At the other end of the spectrum, there’s the idea that being NICE means you lack the backbone to stand up for what you believe in, remain silent when you passionately disagree, and let others treat you like a doormat. Well, that’s not NICE. It’s cowardice. When you harness the Power of NICE, you can move forward with clear-eyed confidence knowing that you can achieve your goals with the help of the positive connections you’ve forged throughout your life—and without stepping on the backs of others.

As our experience building our careers—not to mention a billion dollar business—on our six Power of NICE principles illustrates, there’s simply no denying that there’s real value to being kind. From having a friendly word for everyone you see, to learning to listen carefully, to understanding that each person, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant, matters, being NICE can help you reach new heights throughout your life. Now, what’s not to like about that?

Posted by Linda and Robin

Tue, January 18, 2011 - 2:18:03

A Brilliant Career Move: Let the Other Guy Be Smarter

When you think of a successful business leader, a few key descriptors probably spring to mind right away: strong, strategic, and, of course, smart. But, what if we told you that it’s not always the most visibly intelligent person in the room who has the greatest chance at success? In fact, as we’ve discovered, sometimes the wisest career strategy is to let the other guy be smarter.

It sounds counterintuitive—after all, if you want to impress, shouldn’t you be the one spouting off all of your vast amounts of knowledge?—but, when you think about it, it actually makes perfect sense. Letting the other guy be smarter isn’t about playing dumb, it’s about taking a step back and gleaning as much value from a situation as you possibly can.

And that value isn’t limited to information alone. Certainly, when you’re in an important presentation and you listen to someone else share their thoughts, you learn much more than you would have if you had been the one speaking. But, you do something that can have an even greater payoff: you plant a positive seed with the talker by making them feel smarter.

Not only that, each time you employ this technique, you strengthen your listening—and subsequently—your leadership skills. Research has repeatedly shown that superior listening skills are essential for effective leadership and just as with “flexing your nice muscles,” practicing your listening skills can only help you become better over time.

Of course, that’s not to say that if you have a great idea that’s worth sharing, you shouldn’t speak up. Quite the contrary. But, there are many times when simply zipping your lips and allowing others their moment in the spotlight can be more beneficial to your career than any quick quip or observation could ever be.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Mon, January 17, 2011 - 1:59:33

CubeDuel: Another Reason it Pays to Be Nice

When we were writing THE POWER OF NICE, we outlined six core NICE principles that have come to define the way we do business every day—and perhaps one of the most important was this: “People change.” Especially in our rapidly evolving business environment, you can never be sure that today’s adversary won’t need to become your ally tomorrow. And with the launch of a new website called “CubeDuel,” there’s just one more reason why it pays to be nice as you climb every rung of the corporate ladder.

CubeDuel, which describes itself as “a fun way to rank your coworkers,” pulls information from your LinkedIn account to create an online game of sorts—one in which your present and former coworkers go head-to-head to compete for the distinction of most preferred coworker. Although your votes are never made public, CubeDuel stores all of your voting information to rank each person who has (perhaps unwittingly) competed on the site, and then, once enough votes have been cast, displays them to other people in your network. Although you might never officially earn the dubious distinction of “least desirable co-worker” from CubeDuel, the prospect that your current and former associates just might view you in that light can be quite the wake-up call.

Like it or not, there is no delete in Cyberspace. A random ” game” like CubeDuel can appear like a silly diversion, but with the growing importance of sites like LinkedIn for job searches, no one can afford to have random bits of derogatory digital discourse following them around.

As many ambitious professionals make their way to the top, they operate under the commonly held belief that the only people who matter to their career growth are their managers and superiors. But, nothing could be further from the truth. An office underling might seem unimportant to you now, but in reality everyone matters and you can’t predict who that person may become in just a few years time—and when you might need their help.

By making NICE your default behavior at every turn, you can rest assured that people will remember you for the right reasons. And that means you won’t just be a winner when it comes to CubeDuel. You can conquer the business world, too.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Sat, January 08, 2011 - 9:49:13

How to Keep Your Cool When You’ve Reached Your Boiling Point

This year, many of us are resolving to be NICE. But, as we mentioned earlier this week, like with any new work-out regimen, when you first start out exercising your NICE muscles, it can feel a bit strenuous—and if you’re hot headed, this can be particularly true. But, as we were perusing Gretchen Rubin’s blog on Gimundo, we came a few great ideas for keeping your cool when you feel like you might boil over.

The admitted owner of a “short fuse” herself, Rubin suggests asking the following questions when you encounter a potentially combative situation:

1. Am I at fault?
2. Will this solve anything?
3. Am I improving the situation?
4. Should I be helping you?
5. Am I uncomfortable?
6. Can I make a joke of this?

As Rubin explains, reflecting on these questions can help you quickly put things in perspective and thereby avoid blowing your top unnecessarily, which is not only beneficial to everyone around you, but to you as well.

Certainly, there are times when everyone gets angry. And, contrary to what you might assume, anger does not conflict with our NICE philosophy. NICE isn’t about giving up your opinions or being a doormat—quite the opposite. In fact, voicing your displeasure is a key component to being NICE, but it’s how you do it that counts.

Whether you ask questions to yourself, as Rubin suggests, or rely upon other tried-and-true calming techniques such as deep breathing or exercise, the key to coping with an angry situation is to take your emotions out of the mix before bringing other people in. Otherwise, your attempts to hash out your differences may backfire, making you and the other party even angrier than before.

Once you have had a chance to calm down, consider why you’re truly upset, and look at the situation rationally, you can decide if it warrants a conversation. If so, remember to stick to the facts and avoid judgmental, blaming language at all costs. That way, you can move forward together instead of at odds.

Of course, inevitably there will be times when all your best intentions fail and you do blow your top. In that instance, there’s only one course of action to take: own up to it, apologize and let others know you are really sorry that you “lost it.”  Chances are, they’ll understand. Because, let’s face it, it can happen to even the “nicest” of us.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Thu, January 06, 2011 - 10:28:43

Keeping NICE Year’s Resolutions

This year, we’ve spotted a pleasantly surprising trend online. When it comes to resolutions, a number of people across the Web are making NICE a top priority. We all know the “usual suspects” when it comes to New Year’s goals, and far too often they’re just a bit too ambitious to keep. And that’s why resolving to be NICE—New Year’s Day or any day—is one of the most realistic goals you can set for yourself. Why? Because when you make NICE a part of your everyday life, it becomes automatic.

In other words, the more value you place on actively being NICE, the more effortless it becomes. Think of it like a fitness routine: exercising your “NICE muscles” may cause a bit of a charley-horse at first, but soon you’ll be surprised at how NICE becomes second nature.  In fact, it will feel not only as easy as breathing, but incredibly good, too. (To learn more, check out our post on a phenomenon known as the “Helper’s High.”) And that means your resolution won’t abandoned within weeks; it will be achieved.

There’s a common misconception that in today’s 24/7, work-a-day world, there’s just no time to be nice. But, nothing could be further from the truth. It takes just seconds to be NICE—to smile, say “thank you,” or even hold the elevator—so no matter how busy you are, we guarantee you will have time to spare. Because NICE isn’t only about making grand gestures wherever you go. It’s about the small, often overlooked things we can all do every day to make life a little bit better for everyone else.

Even still, these simple, small acts of kindness and courtesy have become increasingly rare—and that makes them all the more powerful. By creating positive impressions wherever you go, you establish yourself as a kind, caring, and compassionate person, opening you up to a wealth of professional and personal opportunities as a result. And that can help you make your other New Year’s resolutions a reality, too.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Fri, December 24, 2010 - 12:22:08

The Power of the Fourth R: Reading, Writing, ‘Rithmetic,’ and Relationships

As children grow up, much of their schooling is dedicated to the development of their academic skills, commonly known as the “Three R’s”: reading, writing, and ‘rithmetic.  But, a New York Times article this week makes a powerful case for parents, teachers, and administrators to emphasize a fourth “R”: relationships. As recent research suggests, using the academic setting as a place to foster and strengthen children’s nascent social and relationship-building skills could have a profound effect on their lives for years to come—particularly when it comes to their emotional well-being.

Roni Carin Rabin writes:

One friend is enough, a new observational study suggests, to buffer an anxious, withdrawn child against depression. And it doesn’t have to be a particularly close friend — not an intimate or a confidant, as an adult would understand it, just some kind of social connection with someone their own age. Having at least one friend — defined as someone who counted them as a friend in return — seemed to put the brakes on the downward slide toward depression during the pre-teenage years.

As children grow out of their teens and into adulthood, the power of friendship doesn’t fade away. In fact, it continues to play a pivotal role in your health and wellness.  Research has found that simply having a few good friends can help you with everything from battling the common cold—people with strong friendships are significantly less likely than others to get colds—to lowering your risk of a heart attack and recovering from cancer.

Rebecca G. Adams, a professor of sociology at the University of North Carolina, Greensboro told The New York Times in 2009, “In general, the role of friendship in our lives isn’t terribly well appreciated,” adding, “It baffles me. Friendship has a bigger impact on our psychological well-being than family relationships.”

And that means if you’re letting your friendships fall by the wayside, the time to stop is now. As the authors of THE POWER OF NICE: How to Conquer the Business World with Kindness, we know firsthand how friendships can help you further your career and climb to the top. But, in truth, friendships can help you do so much more, at any age—and make your life better in the process. So, as we enter the New Year, resolve to reach out and rekindle those old friendships. It won’t just make you feel good; it will be good for you.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Sun, December 19, 2010 - 7:28:06

It Pays to Be Nice

If you stumbled upon a lost wallet or large sum of money, chances are you would try to return it to its rightful owner. But, what if your situation was dramatically different…what if you, like, Dave Talley, were homeless? Would your actions be the same?

Well, if you were Dave Talley, your answer would be “no.” And as a result, you would discover that your one kind act would have an enormous payoff.

As we read earlier this week on Gimundo—the go-to website for good news—the aforementioned Talley discovered a backpack filled with $3,000 cash and instead of using it to better his own situation, he turned it in to an organization who could track down its owner,  a student who had saved the money for a new car purchase. Touched by Talley’s good deed, the student began telling everyone he knew until the media picked up the story.

Just days after discovering the lost bag, Dave Talley’s life was transformed. People all around the country were so moved by his kind actions that, as Gimundo reports:

Strangers around the country have sent him donations, totaling far more than the contents of the backpack. He’s been offered jobs to help him get back on his feet. A local dentist has donated a new set of teeth, and a lawyer is working pro bono to help Tally handle an old court case. Most impressively, the city of Tempe proclaimed last Thursday to be Dave Tally Day.

It’s just another amazing example of how even the smallest act of kindness can be truly rewarding. In fact, one good deed could change your life, no matter what obstacles you might be facing. As the legendary football coach, Bear Bryant once remarked, “It really doesn’t cost anything to be nice, and the rewards can be unimaginable.” What better way to say it?

Posted by Linda and Robin

Sat, December 18, 2010 - 10:50:16

Say Thanks with the New York Women in Communications’ Gratitude Wall

See the power of NICE in action on the New York Women in Communications’ Gratitude Wall. Say “thanks” and honor your mentors, coworkers, bosses, employees, clients, friends and family with a kind note, photo, or a YouTube link. When you post to the Wall, you can send an email notification to your honoree or share a link via Twitter and Facebook.

Posting to the Wall is free until Jan. 3. But, feel free to leave a tax-deductible donation to the NYWICI Foundation, which provides scholarships, mentoring and other educational resources to women in all the communications fields.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Fri, December 10, 2010 - 11:11:15

The Number Game Gets NICE

If you’ve been on Facebook or Twitter this week (and, really, who hasn’t?) you might have come across some puzzling status updates containing numbers and seemingly random thoughts. Despite what you might be thinking, your friends haven’t gone crazy. They’re participating in the latest meme that’s sweeping the Web called the Number Game.

Players post a brief status update announcing the game and anyone who wants to participate sends them a private message with a random number. Then, in response, the first player posts a status update with the number, along with a brief statement sharing how they really feel about that person. As we’ve witnessed, the responses can range from funny, to friendly, to downright thoughtless. So, it got us thinking… what if, instead, we started a new, NICE version of the Number Game…a compliment meme?

To play, simply post a message like “Send me a message containing a number from 1-500 and I’ll make your day.” Once you’ve received a message, start sending out those anonymous compliments! Not only will it make your friends happier, that one positive action can have a ripple effect, spreading from person to person across numerous social media platforms and even into real life.

Dr. Dale Adkins calls this the “Confidence Domino Effect”—and it’s more powerful than you might imagine. In fact, a Yale University School of Management study found that cheerfulness and warmth actually spread more quickly than doom and gloom. So, a few nicely worded compliments could readily encourage recipients to “pay it forward.”

Now, that’s what we call spinning a Web of kindness.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Thu, December 09, 2010 - 10:53:15

Make New Friends, but Keep the Old

Anyone can tell you that staying connected is important. But, inevitably in some situations, life gets in the way and we lose touch with people. After a certain amount of time, the thought of reaching out to an old friend or associate again can seem impossible, no matter how much you’d like to do so. But, as Jodi Glickman explains today on the Harvard Business Review’s blog, “The passage of time is not a good enough reason to let a potential connection go to waste.”

Many times, making that first contact to an old connection can seem like an exercise in humility and it might feel uncomfortable to reach out after such a long lapse in communication. That’s why, as Glickman explains, it’s essential to acknowledge the proverbial elephant in the room from the start and break the ice with a simple, “I know it’s been ages since we’ve talked,” or “you’re probably wondering why I’m calling after all these years.”  In fact, failing to do so can derail your attempts to reconnect altogether, making you appear shallow and your old friend feel suspicious.

Once you’ve acknowledged and explained the lapse in time, you can both move forward with your conversation with ease, getting on to the more important task of reconnecting. And although you might not expect it, restoring just one relationship can have a profound effect on your life, both professionally and personally.

Why? Because everyone matters—and the more people we take the time to invite into our lives, the more our opportunities to learn, grow, and succeed multiply.

Sure, in today’s wired world, we’re able to network virtually with both friends and strangers around the world, but taking the time to form, strengthen, and renew your real-world connections in a more personal way—whether it’s with a friendly phone call, email, or even a handwritten note—can truly have an outsize impact, both professionally and personally. One by one, the people we encounter in life can help guide us along the paths to new careers, booming businesses, and happier lives—and we, in turn, can do the same.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Sat, December 04, 2010 - 1:26:39

When Negative Germs Go Viral

Cyber bullying has been brought to the national forefront and is now a serious topic of the public conversation, following a string of tragic events involving teens and online harassment. But, being mean online isn’t limited to one age group. As Julie Zhuo writes in an Op-Ed for the New York Times, online anonymity can actually spur people to be cruel.

It might sound preposterous at first, but stop and think about it for a minute. In your own life, it’s likely you would never think of making an intentionally hurtful comment about a stranger’s appearance or ruthlessly tease a coworker about their job performance. In fact, if you witnessed it, you’d probably be the first person to stand up and say something. But, is the same true of your online behavior?

According to Zhuo:

Psychological research has proven again and again that anonymity increases unethical behavior. Road rage bubbles up in the relative anonymity of one’s car. And in the online world, which can offer total anonymity, the effect is even more pronounced. People — even ordinary, good people — often change their behavior in radical ways. There’s even a term for it: the online disinhibition effect.

From behind the Web’s shroud of anonymity, many people feel free to leave rude comments, play pranks, and even taunt their so-called enemies—things they would never do in “real life.” But, as the internet evolves to play a more prominent –and powerful—role in our day-to-day lives, the virtual interactions we have with both strangers and acquaintances can have a very real impact.
Whether you sign it or not, what you post on the Web lives forever.  So, maybe that’s worth thinking about that before you hit send.  Even if no one knows it was you, do you really want that comment to be your lasting legacy?  A guilty conscious can be a heavy burden to carry.

It goes without saying: we’re firm believers that the simple act of being NICE can take you far in life. And contrary to conventional wisdom, NICE guys finish first. But, that philosophy isn’t limited to the world we live in, it’s applies on the World Wide Web as well. Today, it’s not enough just to be kind to the people you see every day. In our modern lives, NICE means being kind in every interaction you have, even if it’s something as seemingly insignificant as a blog comment or a twitter exchange.

After all, even if no one can see you, you never know who is watching.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Fri, December 03, 2010 - 12:34:14

A NICE Prediction for 2011

This week, Trendwatching.com released a list of their predictions for the top 11 consumer trends of 2011—and their number one pick came as no surprise to us.  For 2011, the leading trend is Random Acts of Kindness.

As Trendwatching reports:

There’s no better way for a brand in 2011 to put its money where its mouth (or heart) is than engaging in Random Acts of Kindness (R.A.K.). Consumers’ cravings for realness, for the human touch, ensure that everything from brands randomly picking up the tab to sending a surprise gift will be one of the most effective ways to connect with (potential) customers in 2011 - especially beleaguered consumers in North America, Europe and Japan.

For brands, a serious (and sincere) R.A.K. strategy may mean no longer being seen as inflexible and unwieldy, but as more compassionate and charismatic instead. Something which is, of course, priceless and actually fun.

Throughout our careers in advertising, we’ve demonstrated time and time again how making an emotional connection with consumers can have an unparalleled effect. And now more than ever, it pays to be NICE. By using strategies like Random Acts of Kindness, companies can plant positive seeds with individuals and organically grow invaluable word of mouth to create a more dedicated customer base. And now with the pervasiveness of social media, it’s even easier than ever.

In fact, Trendwatching cites two examples of companies already making Random Acts of Kindness work for them on the Web. Flower delivery service Interflora’s social media campaign in the UK was crafted with the specific purpose of brighten up the lives of Twitter users by sending them flowers and Dutch airline KLM’s ‘How Happiness Spreads’ Foursquare campaign used a ‘Surprise Team’ to present passengers with unexpected gifts at the airport.

Just as the Random Acts of Kindness trend indicates, the POWER OF NICE extends far beyond the helping you land a job, establish a network, or manage a team. NICE can help you conquer the business world in a multitude of ways, not least of all by helping you connect with consumers where it matters most: their hearts.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Tue, November 23, 2010 - 10:54:38

Re-Gifting Turns NICE

With the holidays fast approaching, you’re probably looking for ways to give back to others in need, but in these tough economic times, you may feel like there’s little you can do to help. We’ve always believed, however, that even the smallest acts of kindness can make a difference—and now thanks to a new program called Gift Card Giver, doing so is easier than ever.

The program, which combines the ideas of “re-gifting” and “crowdsourcing,” provides much-needed funds to non-profit organizations around the country using a surprising source: unused gift cards. And, chances are, you have a few of your own lying around the house. In fact, of the $60 billion worth of gift cards purchased each year, nearly 10 to 15 percent of them go unused—and that means there could be billions of dollars just waiting to be put to work.

The best part is, with Gift Card Giver, no donation is too small. So, if you’ve ever wondered what to do with that miniscule balance left on your already-used gift card, now you have an answer. By itself, that tiny donation might not seem meaningful, but when combined with thousands of others from around the country, it could play a powerful role in shaping someone else’s life for the better.

For most of our lives, many of us have been taught that “bigger is better.” Yet, many times that simply isn’t true. Certainly, we don’t mean to discount acts of profound generosity, which can have an immediate and monumental impact, but our little acts of kindness and giving matter, too. And over time, they can work in their own ways to help change the world.

To learn more about Gift Card Giver, please visit their website at http://www.giftcardgiver.com.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Sun, November 21, 2010 - 11:00:31

“Phoning It In” Could Be a Good Thing After All

Earlier this week, we came across an interesting Tech Crunch post by Alexia Tsotsis claiming that in today’s wired world, the phone call is quickly becoming the “new handwritten letter.” With so many of us using our phones for texting, tweeting, twitpic-ing…and well, pretty much anything other than phone calls these days, it’s easy to understand her reasoning. But, in truth, the phone call should not be relegated to the ranks of a quaint, old-fashioned means of communication. It’s still a valuable tool for maximizing your success in the business world today.

In our book, THE POWER OF SMALL: Why Little Things Make All the Difference, we discuss how writing a handwritten note is an eye-catching way to make a positive impression on the people in your professional and personal life. And, as Tsotsis writes, the phone call’s increasing rarity makes it another SMALL and NICE way to do the same. In fact, not long ago we made a phone call to a client to wish him a happy birthday and discuss a few business matters. And to our surprise, he said we were the first people to do so all day—a clear example of how going the extra inch to do something personal and kind can have an outsize impact.

But, unlike the handwritten letter, the phone call is still a vital element of daily communication—and one that professionals shouldn’t leave for special occasions (or ignore altogether.) Although email is widely preferred in the name of efficiency, there are times when making a phone call is actually the fastest and most practical option. It eliminates the time-consuming relay of information and allows you to collaborate and problem-solve more effectively. Certainly, there are many times when email is the right choice, but it’s up to you to be discerning.

So, don’t write off the telephone in favor of a digital-only communication policy and consider its unique benefits. From conveying the subtle nuances unregistered in the written word, to helping you strengthen your connections, to making your day more productive, it has a big value all its own.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Sun, November 14, 2010 - 9:45:36

Why “You’ve Got to Have Friends”

Looking for an easy and enjoyable way to reduce stress-induced aging on your body, and lower your heart rate, blood pressure, and stress hormones? Perhaps the question should be “Who isn’t?” Well, we have good news. According to a study published last month in the Journal of Health and Social Behavior, maintaining deep, personal friendships can help you accomplish just that. And what’s more, having a supportive, close circle of friends can actually help you live a happier life by changing the way your brain experiences negative events.

Unfortunately, as the Wall Street Journal’s Sue Shellenbarger writes, with so many people feeling overwhelmed by their busy work schedules and family obligations, maintaining friendships can feel like an impossible task. And for that reason, many friends are simply cast aside. But, Shellenbarger writes that people who do so could be playing with their health.

You’ve probably heard the old adage, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy,” and according to Shellenbarger, it makes Jack a sick boy, too. But, that’s not all. He’s probably not living up to his full potential either. Why? Because as we’ve learned, it’s making friends not enemies, that helps you make it to the top.

With all of the myths surrounding success in the business world, we wouldn’t be surprised if you’re feeling skeptical. After all, for years people have been taught that you can’t climb the corporate ladder without stepping on a few people’s backs. But, in reality, handshakes, kind words, and strong relationships will get you much further.

Consider, for example, the number one way people in the United States land new jobs: networking. When you maintain a solid social network, filled not just with casual acquaintances, but also “true-blue” friends, you open yourself up to a wealth of personal experiences and professional opportunities…and you never know when the perfect one might pop up.

On the other hand, if you ignore your friendships and let them fall by the wayside, you might be saving yourself some time, but you’re also closing doors—personally and professionally. So, the next time you consider not calling your friend back for the sake of time or saving that email for another day, stop and ask yourself, “Is it worth it?” And then hold on to that connection.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Fri, November 12, 2010 - 11:54:56

Celebrate! Saturday is World Kindness Day.

The workweek is drawing to a close, and for some, the promise of a leisurely weekend might be reason enough to celebrate. But, this Saturday is something special: it’s World Kindness Day. And as the authors of THE POWER OF NICE, we couldn’t be more excited.

Unlike Thanksgiving and the Fourth of July, however, World Kindness Day isn’t exactly a holiday that’s steeped in tradition. So, why not make some of your own? Here are a few ideas to help you get started:

Exchange compliments. With everyone keeping a close eye on their budgets in these tough times, giving a gift isn’t always an option—but sometimes words can mean so much more. Instead of handing out gifts, write kind phrases about the people you love and hand them out one by one. Chances are they’ll be so touched you just might receive a few in return.

Lend an ear. In our book, THE POWER OF NICE: How to Conquer the Business World with Kindness, we discuss how simply listening carefully to others helped us propel our business forward, but it’s an equally valuable tool in your personal life as well. In our digital age, we’re constantly confronted with messages of all kinds every minute of the day. And that’s why it’s so NICE when it feels like someone really hears you.

Sweeten the deal. Sure, this one will work on your kids on Saturday, but why not celebrate a belated Kindness Day at work on Monday by surprising your coworkers with a few sweet treats? Something as simple as an unexpected box of cupcakes could transform everyone’s Monday from “manic” to “magnificent.” And that means everyone will not only feel happier, they’ll work more efficiently, too.

Be all smiles. It sounds simple, but one of the easiest ways to be NICE is also one of the most ignored: smile! Using World Kindness Day as a starting point, make an effort to smile at others instead of walking around with a bland expression. Not only will it instantly improve others’ first impressions, it’s actually been scientifically proven to boost your mood as well. And once you get in the habit, it will feel as natural as breathing.

To learn more about World Kindness Day or to send a specially-themed e-card, visit www.worldkindness.org.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Sat, November 06, 2010 - 10:05:16

Mommy Bloggers Harness the Power of NICE 2.0

#bekind.

It’s the little hashtag that took Twitter by storm this week—and proved in no uncertain terms that NICE works, even online.
Started by the Candace Derickx (or as we more frequently call her, “@seemommyjuggle”) of the popular blog, The Yummy Mummy Club, the #bekind hashtag was the first step of Derickx and the rest of the blog team’s effort to spread a wave of kindness across the Web. And in the wake of numerous heartbreaking stories of internet bullying, we couldn’t think of a better time for such an initiative to start.

As you can imagine, when we caught wind of this burgeoning Twitter meme, we couldn’t have been more thrilled. All week long, we watched as others shared their thoughts about kindness, participated in group activities like the “1:00 Compliment Challenge,” and shared our own stories about the unparalleled power of NICE. And on Tuesday, it even became a trending topic!

Now that’s a trend we can really get into.

It’s just another bit of evidence helping to prove our case that making a name for yourself—online or otherwise—doesn’t mean you have to be snarky, hurtful, or unkind. In fact, just the opposite is true.
By spreading kind words and gestures, instead of rude behaviors and sarcastic comments, you can create the positive links needed to build your network throughout your life. And that means the only web where you’ll ever get caught is a Web of kindness.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Fri, November 05, 2010 - 3:57:08

Is Civility Dead?

If your morning ritual is anything like our respective routines, it probably starts with a BIG cup of coffee (the one-and-only time we aren’t SMALL-thinkers) and a few casual glances at your favorite morning show. But, this week, despite the early hour, the Today Show ran a series of segments that had us riveted. Each day, they tackled a different aspect of daily life asking: “Is civility dead?”

Well, folks, we’re happy to tell you that despite what some of the experts on TODAY told Matt Lauer and company, civility is alive and well. In fact, we didn’t have to look any further than our agency’s office to find it in action. And it’s a principle our company was built upon—one that helped us grow from a tiny start-up to a billion-dollar agency in less than a decade.

No, civility isn’t dead, but it doesn’t take an etiquette expert to tell you that, at least for some people, it’s gone on a bit of a hiatus. And that’s unfortunate because the simple act of being NICE can truly work wonders in more ways that you can imagine.

Did you know that being NICE can actually help you live longer? Research has found that simply having a NICE sense of humor can help protect you from serious health risks like heart attacks.

And it can help you make more money, too. Science has proven it!

It can keep your relationship happy. Toronto researchers found that people described as “congenial” had a significantly lower divorce rate than others.

And it can make you happier. Numerous psychologists have documented the positive effects of what is known as “the helper’s high,” the happy result of simply being kind to others.

Despite the busy pace of today’s 24/7, plugged-in life, you’re never too busy to be NICE. All it takes is a little “thank-you,” a reflexive smile, a quick “Cute shoes!” or an encouraging pat on the back to a friend in need.

Civility isn’t dead, it’s just that some people have gotten a little out of shape. So, don’t be a couch potato. Get out there and flex those NICE muscles!

Posted by Linda and Robin

Sun, October 31, 2010 - 3:05:48

This Halloween, Do Something NICE

To most people, Halloween means dressing up, handing out goodies to trick-or-treaters, and eating a few more “fun-size” chocolates than you’d like to admit. But, for others, Halloween also means playing pranks on unsuspecting neighbors—a pastime you wouldn’t normally associate with NICE. That was, of course, until we came across a new phenomenon known as “Positive Pranking,” kicked off by author and blogger Amy Krouse Rosenthal.

The premise of “Positive Pranking,” as she named it, is to replace the mean-spirited actions normally associated with pranks (egging, toilet papering, and door ditching, to name a few), and to let pranksters get a rush from doing something NICE anonymously. For example, instead of door ditching by ringing the doorbell and running, a positive spin on the prank would be to ring the doorbell, leave a little gift with a friendly note attached, and run. In this instance, everyone benefits: the prankster gets a little jolt of adrenaline and the “pranked” person gets an emotional boost from a random act of kindness.

But, you don’t have to wait for Mischief Night or Halloween to pull a positive prank or simply experience the benefits of committing a random act of kindness. You can use the power of NICE to enhance your life—and the lives of others—all year long. And you can start today. Here are a few ideas to help you make spontaneous kindness a way of life:

Pass a NICE note: Did you notice that one of your co-workers is having a rough day? Next time he or she leaves her desk, sneak over and leave a post-it note with a few anonymous words of encouragement.

Pay it backward: If you’re paying at the drive-thru, why not tell the cashier you’ve got the person behind you covered and let them enjoy a meal as your treat? Your nice gesture just might start a chain reaction of generosity that could last for hours.

Feed the compliment mill: Recently, we discussed how NICE gossip can be good for you, so instead of feeding the rumor mill, why not spread compliments? For example, ask a friend, “Did you hear Jane’s presentation this morning? It was outstanding.” When Jane finds out what you’ve been saying about her, she’ll be flattered and your positive comments will make everyone around you feel good, too.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Sat, October 30, 2010 - 8:57:51

Why NICE 2.0 Matters Now More Than Ever

Just this past spring, the Web was abuzz with stories of a new site in development called Unvarnished, a so-called “Yelp for LinkedIn” where viewers could anonymously post reviews of anyone, any time. Back then, it got us thinking about the importance of managing your online profile and using NICE to spread positive seeds across cyberspace. Well, now that the site has gone live, what we’ve dubbed NICE 2.0, is more important than ever and although the name of the site has changed, the rules for being “virtually” nice remain the same.

Now called Honestly.com, the site has been hailed by some as the next step in the evolution of social media, while critics have claimed it’s an invitation for trouble. But, no matter what your opinion may be, there’s one fool-proof defense against receiving a nasty personal review… and it all starts with updating your NICE skills.

Luckily, the Web has made being NICE easier and more convenient than ever. Although the digital space is often associated with snarky comments, flame wars, and blog trolls, in our experience, we’ve found that nothing is more effective at forging online connections than being NICE through simple gestures like complimenting another blogger’s post by using a trackback, participating in friendly traditions like Twitter’s weekly “Follow Friday,” and even “Liking” a Facebook status posted by an old friend. As we like to say, each of these small actions is like a virtual smile that can brighten someone’s day and make a positive impression almost effortlessly.

Just like in the real world, the rise of social media has given every single digital action you take the power to affect your life in a very real way. And now that Honestly.com is in the picture, this rings even more true.  Although you might not realize it, every blog comment, Twitter mention, and Facebook “like” plays a pivotal role in shaping the ways others perceive you online. In other words, each of your online actions—and interactions—piece together to form a more accurate “profile” of yourself than a LinkedIn Resume or Twitter Bio could ever portray.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Sun, October 24, 2010 - 10:02:12

I’m Sorry: The Two Toughest Words You’ll Ever Say?

In 1970’s classic, Love Story, Ryan O’Neil famously says, “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” But, as nearly anyone can tell you, a statement like that really only works in the movies. Still, a recent study at the University of Waterloo found that while people find it easy to apologize to strangers, saying “sorry” to a loved one is much more difficult. And that’s not such a good thing, because, as we write in our book, THE POWER OF NICE, the simple act of apologizing is one of the most powerful gestures you can make, in your professional and personal life.

As Wall Street Journal columnist Sue Shellenbarger writes, “Apologies can be complicated. They’re not always forthcoming, or even sincere. Making matters worse, there’s a gender “apology gap”: Men and women have different approaches and different expectations when it comes to acts of contrition.”

Whether you’re a man or a woman, however, one thing remains certain: a good apology can work wonders to mend fences and help you maintain solid relationships. So, regardless of your personal style, here are a few important tips you should keep in mind when apologizing. (Overlook them and you just might be sorry.)

Digital is convenient, but use it as a last resort. You might think writing “Sorry!” on a loved one’s Facebook Wall is a quick and easy way to make amends, but the truth is, when it comes to having strong interpersonal relationships, there simply are no shortcuts.  So, before you go the digital route, put your head on their shoulders and imagine how it might make you feel.  If at all possible, make the apology in person or over the phone. And if that’s not an option, try snail mail or e-mail. 

No “buts” about it. Never substitute an apology with an excuse and avoid the use of the word “but” if at all possible. Although you might not realize it, that little word can overshadow the real message you’re trying to convey. So, instead of saying “I’m sorry hurt your feelings, but, I have a terrible headache,” try, “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings. I should have been more sensitive and I will try to do better next time.”

Don’t play the blame game. What’s more aggravating than the accusatory apology, “Well, I’m sorry you feel that way”? If you’re truly confused about the problem, ask the wronged party to explain why they’re angry and listen. Once you’ve digested everything, your more thoughtful response of “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings,” will truly mean something.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Fri, October 22, 2010 - 9:50:53

Be NICE: It’s Good for Business!

One of the reasons we love Twitter—aside from providing us with a direct line to our wonderful readers—is the amazing way in which it lets you trade ideas with people all around the world. And that’s just what happened when we received a tweet today from @ckburgess with a fantastic story from the Harvard Business Review’s Bill Taylor. And the moral of his story? It pays to be nice.

In his post, “Why Is it So Hard to Be Kind?” Taylor recounts a recent experience he had when purchasing a new car as a gift for his father’s 75th birthday. As part of the fun, Taylor’s father would go to the dealership, pick out the model, and negotiate the price. Taylor, Jr. would handle the rest.

So, excited about his big birthday gift, Taylor, Sr. went off to the dealership, scoped out the new models, test drove a few, and happily began negotiating the price. And that’s when he mentioned the $1000 customer loyalty discount he’d received in the mail a few months prior, which, as luck would have it, the dealer sternly informed him had expired just the day before.

“But, I’m sure you’ll honor it anyway,” his father responded. After all, he’d been a loyal customer for years. But, even with his longtime relationship with the dealer—not to mention a milestone birthday—the dealer wouldn’t budge.

And, this didn’t just leave the two Taylors with a bad taste in their mouths. It soured the deal completely.

Feeling slighted by the place where he’d purchased cars for years, Taylor’s father headed to a competitor’s dealership. And not just to work with another dealer…to purchase a different brand of car altogether. Again, he checked out the models, test drove a few, and happily began negotiating price. And again, he mentioned that loyalty discount—the one from the competitor. To everyone’s surprise, this time, the dealer honored it.

It’s just another example of how being NICE can work to your advantage in business. While the first car dealer perceived the act of kindly bending the rules to give his loyal customer a discount as a loss to the company, the second dealer was much savvier. Instead of focusing on a $1000 loss, he recognized a priceless opportunity: the chance to make a great impression, create a loyal customer, and promote positive word of mouth about his company.

And what a smart move that turned out to be!

On the other hand, by sticking too closely to the rules and enforcing procedure over people, the first dealer may have saved $1000, but he also missed out on a sale, and more importantly, made a negative impression on a once-loyal customer—one of the worst things you can do in business. And with the negative word of mouth that surely followed, that dealer just might find his failure to be NICE in the name of frugality will cost him more than he bargained for.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Sat, October 16, 2010 - 9:17:14

Gossip is Good for You, but There’s a Catch.

Here’s a juicy little tidbit: what if we told you that gossip could actually be good for you? We know what you’re thinking: that’s not exactly NICE news. But, contrary to what you might believe, it is. According to researchers, there are psychological and social benefits to gossip, but there’s one very big catch. It only works if you’re saying something kind.

Several research studies have previously found that people dislike and distrust rumormongers, so trading catty comments and salacious stories about others with your friends and co-workers won’t do you any favors. But, as British psychologists Jennifer Cole and Hannah Scrivener discovered, spreading “NICE” gossip—for example, “Marissa just sent me pictures of her new baby. He’s so cute, and I have to say, she looks fantastic!”—can help you feel happier and form more friendships. And, as we’ve found, doing so can start a chain reaction of positive actions, encouraging others to spread kind comments instead of hurtful rumors.

Why? Because, researchers explain, humans are naturally programmed to talk about one another. So much so, in fact, that we all find people who talk about other people to be more interesting themselves. But, the old saying, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit by me,” simply doesn’t stand up to science. In reality, the people who talk about others in a positive way are the ones who everyone wants to be around the most.

It’s just another example of how spreading positive seeds wherever you go can help you grow your network and reap the benefits of your NICE actions. So, go ahead and be a gossip! When you do it the NICE way, everyone benefits and no one gets hurt.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Fri, October 15, 2010 - 9:22:28

Career or Friendships: Do You Have to Choose?

Earlier this week, we came across an article on LearnVest listing the “Top Five Signs You’re Too Busy,” and number three, “you can’t connect with friends or loved ones regularly,” made us stop in our tracks. Although it’s often assumed—particularly among young professionals just beginning to climb the corporate ladder—that you have to sacrifice your personal relationships in order to have a career, nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, failing to maintain your friendships when pursuing your professional goals could cause problems for you in the future.

Of course, we won’t pretend that there won’t be many times when you’re working late nights, heading to the office early, and putting all of your energy into your job and there just isn’t enough time to meet for coffee or dinner. But, even then, that doesn’t mean you can’t take a few minutes to check in with the people who matter most and let them know they’re in your thoughts. A five minute phone call, an email “hello,” even a handwritten note in the mail can mean the difference between a solid bond and a fading friendship.

Maintaining your friendships isn’t just emotionally rewarding either; it’s also a smart business move. By tending to the positive seeds you’ve planted throughout your life, you create a fertile universe for yourself—and then you can really reap the benefits. After all, you never know when your friend might run into someone who could use your talents or gush about your budding business at a dinner party. So why run the risk of it not happening? When it comes to investing your time into your relationships, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Sat, October 09, 2010 - 10:56:40

Surprise! Facebook’s Secret Weapon is…NICE?

If you’re like the hoards of other Americans who packed theaters during The Social Network’s blockbuster opening weekend, NICE might not exactly be the first word that comes to mind when you think of the Internet giant, Facebook. But, as a new article in the New York Times reveals this week, much of Facebook’s business success can be attributed to one person: the company’s Chief Operating Officer, Sheryl Sandberg, a highly regarded Internet executive known as much for her interpersonal skills as for her business smarts.

As the New York Times’ Miguel Heft explains, “Mr. Zuckerberg, a 26-year-old engineer and product visionary, is socially awkward and reserved. At 41, Ms. Sandberg is the opposite: polished, personable, chatty and at ease in the limelight.” Since her very first day at the company, she has begun each morning by making the rounds at Facebook’s open layout office and engages employees of all levels in conversation, cracking jokes and asking questions. And whenever anyone at the company is promoted—regardless of the position—she makes it a point to send a congratulatory note.

While these may seem like “soft” skills, they are in fact what have helped her build a successful career in the Silicon Valley, first at Google and now at Facebook. Under her leadership, Facebook has greatly expanded its staff and, more importantly, strengthened its advertising program, thanks to the strong interpersonal relationships Sandberg has forged throughout the industry.

While Zuckerberg’s computer wizardry put the fledgling company on the map, transforming the company into a profitable entity has been a feat largely performed by Sandberg. In other words, despite what you’ve seen at the movies, the truth is Facebook’s massive success is yet another powerful example of how NICE wins.

Sure, it goes against conventional wisdom (and it doesn’t make for a particularly dramatic film script), but NICE management strategies like those demonstrated by Sandberg have been proven time and time again to be more effective in motivating employees and building businesses. It worked for us, it worked for Facebook, and it can work for you, too, whether you’re looking to start your own company or you’re just starting out on the job front. So, why not give it a try? You’ll soon discover it really does pay to be nice.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Fri, October 08, 2010 - 10:49:48

Social Good is Good for Business

Not long ago on the NICE Blog, we posted about a recent paper published by researchers at Harvard, Rice, and the University of Utah, which concluded that higher earnings make executives “meaner.” In our post we argued that the study failed to look at the underlying issues and speculated that character, not money, may be the source of their nastiness. And an article published in the New York Times this week seems to support our hunch. Why? Because one very powerful billionaire—the latest in a long line of others making news for their charitable efforts—is making a difference by using his powerful position for social good. And what’s more, he’s making a profit.

Several years ago Vinod Khosla, co-founder of Sun Microsystems, invested in SKS Microfinance, a micro-lender that helps poor women in India launch small businesses. But, unlike many other micro-lenders around the world, this one is a money-making entity that’s been shockingly profitable. In fact, SKS’s recent IPO in Mumbai raised Khosla’s already staggering net worth by another $117 million, meaning Khosla is already being handsomely rewarded for his good deeds.

And this, he believes, can be a driver for other for-profit companies to become catalysts for worldwide social change…potentially even eradicating poverty. As the Times reports, “By backing businesses that provide education loans or distribute solar panels in villages, he wants to show that commercial entities can better help people in poverty than most nonprofit charitable organizations.” It’s a revolutionary idea built upon one very powerful principle: it pays to be nice.

In fact, companies like TOMS Shoes have already discovered how blending social activism and entrepreneurship can create sustainable business models while eliminating the fundraising problem faced by many of the world’s non-profits. And in this promising new frontier, more and more new companies are bound to harness the potential their NICE business models possess.
So, forget the notion that in our so-called dog-eat-dog business world, only the fiercest can survive. The truth is, kindness, generosity, and good-will can make for multi-million dollar ideas.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Sat, October 02, 2010 - 3:29:38

Compliments and Flattery: There’s a BIG Difference

Abraham Lincoln was famously quoted as saying, “Men will stand a great deal when they are flattered.” And in many ways, this is true. In our book, THE POWER OF NICE: How to Conquer the Business World with Kindness, we explain how giving compliments to others is a kind gesture that can help you build lasting relationships and plant positive seeds wherever you go. But, a recent post on Mike Myatt’s blog, N2Growth, got us thinking about the difference between compliments and flattery. And while one is certainly a NICE tool, the other is not.

Often, flattery and compliments are misconstrued as one and the same. But when it comes to being NICE, they couldn’t be more different. Where compliments are sincere, flattery is artificial and disingenuous…about as far from NICE as you can get. In fact, we’d argue that instead of “getting you everywhere,” as the old saying goes, flattery can actually hurt your future professional prospects.

Why? Because unlike genuine compliments, which help to create an impression of you as someone who is good-natured and generous, flattery helps to paint a picture of you as someone who is phony, shallow, and even dishonest. And whether in the business world or beyond, those are attributes no one wants associated with his or her name.

Of course, if you’re concerned that your genuine compliments will be misread, chances are, you don’t need to be. The mere fact that you’re conscientious enough to worry about such a thing shows that you aren’t a smarmy glad handler—and that no one would mistake you for one. But, if you’d rather be safe than sorry, here are a few NICE tips to keep yourself from falling into the flattery trap:

Be honest: The first rule of a good compliment is that it’s truthful. No matter how convincingly you can say something like you mean it, if you don’t, it’s not really effective. So, hold off on the disingenuous “I love your earrings,” and wait until you can really say something NICE, such as, “Great job on your presentation today!”

Keep it simple: Coco Chanel had a famous rule when it came to style: always remove one accessory before walking out the door. You can use the same philosophy when it comes to giving a compliment: tone it down a notch. It’s better to be a bit understated than to be over-the-top.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Fri, October 01, 2010 - 2:48:38

Say Something NICE

Earlier this week, we came across a wonderful post from Operation NiCE blogger, Melissa Ivone in which she shares a powerful NICE encounter she had recently with a fellow audience member at a rock concert—and we simply had to share it with all of you.

As the band left the stage and the crowd cheered for an encore, this adorable young woman who was sitting in the row in front of me turned around, grabbed my wrist, and leaned toward me to say something. She had to shout because the audience was still very loud. She said something to the effect of, “I saw you sit down earlier before the show, and I just wanted to tell you that I think you’re really beautiful!” [continuing] “I just don’t think women tell each other things like that enough. And I think you’re doing everything right!”

I nearly started to cry. Her words meant so much. Inside, I’m still that insecure, dorky 6th grader with a horrible perm, overbite, and uni-brow. The girl that never got asked to the dance. The girl that was teased, even in college. So receiving a compliment like that made me feel so incredibly special.

And it got us thinking about how each of our small, nice gestures has the power to effect people in ways we might never have imagined. Although it takes little effort, giving someone a compliment or even a friendly smile could be just the thing they needed to brighten up their day or boost their confidence. In fact, something as simple as a kind word can be a catalyst for a chain of positive actions—and for proof you need look no further than Melissa’s own blog.

Following her brief meeting with her fellow concert go-er, Melissa was inspired to challenge all of her blog readers to tell another woman that she looks beautiful, as a way to help break down the negative, “catty” stereotypes we all hear about every day. And we’d like to challenge our readers, too. So, today, make an effort to say something NICE to a stranger and watch what happens when his or her face lights up. It doesn’t cost a thing, but we guarantee you’ll experience an immediate reward. And even better, you just might set off a NICE domino effect of your own.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Sun, September 26, 2010 - 9:43:16

Laughter is Good for Business and Health… and That’s No Joke!

Image courtesy of Claudia Vieria on Flickr

At our agency, the Kaplan Thaler Group, we believe one of the biggest factors in our success has been our sense of humor. It’s helped us create advertising icons—from beloved Aflac duck, to the hilarious Swiffer campaign that swept the nation, to our breakthrough Herbal Essences “Yes, yes, yes!”—and helped foster the close-knit, collaborative environment that is integral to generating Bang! ideas. By being playful, goofy, and even daring, we’ve produced some of the most impactful (not to mention laugh-out-loud funny) campaigns out there. And as it turns out, our NICE approach to humor isn’t just good for business, it’s actually good for your health.

Thanks to a Twitter tip from the Happiness Project author and blogger, Gretchen Rubin, we came across a study released this summer in the International Journal of Psychiatry in Medicine indicating some very promising findings: having a good sense of humor keeps you healthy until retirement age, or age 70. But, as Norwegian University of Science and Technology researchers caution, it only applies to people whose humor is friendly. In other worse, if you’re mean-spirited or hurtful, you might not see any benefit from your snarky laughs.

This summer’s Norwegian findings are just the latest in a series of studies indicating the long term health benefits of having a NICE sense of humor. In 2006, another study published in the International Journal of Psychiatry in Medicine revealed that, over a two-year period, patients with chronic renal failure stood a significantly higher rate of survival when they also had a good sense of humor. In fact, the two seemed to be intrinsically linked: the better the sense of humor, the greater the survival rate.

In other words, a NICE sense of humor is nothing to scoff at. It can actually —to borrow a phrase from Mr. Spock—help you “live long and prosper.”

Posted by Linda and Robin

Fri, September 24, 2010 - 2:09:46

NICE Can Help You Navigate these Angry Times

It doesn’t take a Ph.D. in psychology to know that these are angry times. Turn on the television, login to Twitter, or open up the newspaper and you will find people airing their grievances about everything from local politics to global warming. People are mad—and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Although some mistakenly assume that our NICE philosophy means you have to stifle your emotions and never get angry, that’s simply not true. Anger, like any emotion, is part of being human. The problem is when people take their anger and unfairly unleash it on others.

With many people feeling particularly touchy these days, however, it’s sometimes unavoidable—and as Sue Shellenbarger writes in the Wall Street Journal recently, if you happen to work in customer service, you probably understand this all too well. Fortunately, there’s a great way for people to deal with anger when it’s directed at them, regardless of their occupation. Instead of following the natural inclination to “give it as good as you get,” the best approach is actually to “put your head on their shoulders,” as we like to say in our book, and be NICE. It doesn’t just help assuage the situation. It can help you feel better, too.

Of course, when you’re the target of someone else’s rage, this can be much harder than it sounds, so Shellenbarger suggests a few tried-and-true tricks:
• Look at the ceiling to relax your breathing.
• Trace figure-eights in the air with your eyes, which relaxes and refocuses the eye muscles, to promote a calming effect.

As strange as it might seem, another effective way to remain calm while “under fire” so to speak, is to smile empathetically. Numerous studies have shown that even a faked smile can have a calming, mood-boosting effect on your brain, whereas a frown can actually cause you to perceive an event as worse than it is. And thanks to two human behavioral traits, emotional contagion and mimicry, your smile may be disarming to others, too.

Most importantly, never forget the immense power that even a little apology possesses. Often times, when people feel wronged, all they really want is for someone to say two words, “I’m sorry,” and then to lend an ear. So, open yours and listen to what they have to say. When you’re NICE—even when others aren’t—you can start solving problems and open yourself up to opportunities you never would have expected.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Fri, September 17, 2010 - 11:05:10

The Power of Nice Brings Neighbors Together

In yesterday’s New York Times, Hilary Stout writes that apartment living in New York has long been considered to be a socially isolating experience. Neighbors ride silently together in the elevator, barely utter a hello when checking their mailboxes, and know each other by apartment number instead of by name. But, now, Stout argues, the old, anonymous neighborhood is becoming a thing of the past. Yes, even in our plugged-in, socially networked age, real-life neighbors are becoming more social than ever. And surprisingly, it has more than a little to do with small talk.

According to a poll conducted by New York real estate firm the Corcoran Group, 35 percent of apartment dwellers polled said that they socialize with their neighbors, the majority of whom live in new buildings. Although it might seem like an extraneous detail, it’s actually an essential one. Why? Because when everyone’s new, people are less afraid to strike up a conversation. When they begin making small talk, they start forming connections—and, as the New York Times’ Hilary Stout’s own research in neighborhoods throughout the city finds, those little moments of friendly conversation have had the power to transform the culture of entire buildings from collections of individuals to a bona fide communities.

In fact, the connective power of small talk can have some rather surprising—and fortuitous—effects. Recently, a friend of ours complimented a neighbor in the elevator about his suit—a simple enough gesture. But, the gentleman was so happy for the compliment he asked where our friend was headed. He explained that he and his son were out visiting colleges and had just returned from Harvard that morning. And as luck would have it, the nicely dressed neighbor just happened to be best friends with a member of the admissions board! He added he would put in a good word…and all because of a few “good words.”

It got us thinking, if a little small talk can accomplish all of this, what would happen if we all made NICE automatic in every aspect of our lives? You can find out by starting today. All it takes is a little practice. You could begin by smiling at a stranger, making small talk with a new neighbor, even complimenting a friend at work. The more you do it, the easier and more natural it will become. And slowly but surely, you’ll see the world around you begin to change.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Fri, September 17, 2010 - 10:54:30

What Makes a Great Competitor?

Earlier today, we came across a great post on Todd Smith’s blog, Little Things Matter. With a name like that, it’s no surprise that “thinking SMALL” and sweating the details provide the topics for a number of his discussions. But, it was a post on 10 Traits of a Great Competitor that really caught our attention. And we couldn’t agree more with its NICE-minded approach.

According to Smith, a great competitor: congratulates his or her opponents when they win; is a gracious winner; celebrates respectfully; maintains a sense of decorum; keeps a consistent attitude; uses restraint; keeps a lid on frustration; plays fair; gives the advantage to the opponent and avoids complaining. 

In other words, a great competitor is NICE, despite what you’ve been led to believe.

When it comes to competition, people often use words like “fierce,” “cutthroat,” and “relentless” to describe the path to success. But, as we’ve discovered time and time again, building our business from a six-person shop into a billion dollar agency, NICE can give you a real competitive edge. Sure, it sounds counterintuitive, but it works.

Contrary to what you might assume, being NICE in competition doesn’t mean you don’t want to win—and it certainly doesn’t mean finishing in last place. Instead, it means making positive impressions wherever you go, rather than antagonizing your so-called enemies at every opportunity.

While fighting ruthlessly in one “battle” might help your company win in the short term, NICE is the best strategy to secure long-term success. Why? Because as we like to say, “You never know.”  Especially in our ever-changing world, today’s enemy just might need to become tomorrow’s ally, whether it’s for a job interview, a big pitch, or a business referral. So, it’s not only important that he or she remembers you, but that it’s for a good reason. And to find proof, you need look no further than the very halls of our offices here at the Kaplan Thaler Group. In fact, our attitudes have so impressed both our clients and our competition that often talented employees from our so-called “rivals” end up coming to work for us!

So, why not “fight the good fight” while being NICE? Even though you might not emerge victorious every time, you’ll always come out looking like a winner.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Sun, September 12, 2010 - 10:22:51

In Our Service Economy, EQ Matters More than Ever

In a recent post for the Harvard Business Review’s blog, HBR editor Andrew O’Connell makes a thought-provoking point about the state of the business world as we know it: “With the global economy rapidly turning into a service economy, emotional labor is becoming the predominant work that people do. There aren’t many jobs left that require zero emotional labor.” And that’s why—especially in our challenging job climate—your “EQ” score matters now more than ever before.

As we write in our book, THE POWER OF NICE: How to Conquer the Business World with Kindness, IQ has long been regarded—albeit inaccurately—as one of the most important determiners of future success. But, research presented in Daniel Goleman’s book Emotional Intelligence refutes this pervasive belief explaining that EQ, or “Emotional Intelligence Quotient,” is a far more accurate predictor.
 
Now, O’Connell’s research seems to support this assertion as well, particularly when it comes to people at the top. “Leaders have to display many more emotions than their employees,” he writes.  “They have to be, at times, friendly, sympathetic, supportive, confident, optimistic, tough, and angry. And they have to use a great deal of judgment in determining which emotion to display and how to display it.”

That means that with the evolution of today’s economy into one that is service-based, the very skills once labeled as “soft,” such as empathy, relationship building, and socialization, will be vital to long-term success, both for individuals and across organizations. They will become—and are already becoming—occupational requirements, regardless of industry. So, therefore, in order to succeed, professionals throughout the ranks of the corporate structure must learn to harness the unique power these often-discounted skills offer and make NICE a blueprint for both individual and organizational behavior.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Fri, September 10, 2010 - 10:26:08

Nice Doesn’t Fear Conflict

Recently we came across an interesting post by Mike Figliuolo of the blog thoughtLEADERS in which he argues that facing conflict fearlessly instead of meekly sidestepping touchy issues is an essential trait for leaders today. As we often explain, delivering criticism and resolving disputes when necessary are potent NICE characteristics, so that’s why we were disappointed when we read the following statement in his blog entry: “Being “nice” for the sake of avoiding conflict is dysfunctional. It will destroy your organization and your credibility in the long run.” In part, we agree with Figliuolo. Avoiding conflict is dysfunctional. But, it doesn’t have anything to do with being NICE.

Once again, we’ve come across an instance where being NICE has been misconstrued as being weak. But, nothing could be further from the truth. NICE doesn’t shy away from the tough stuff or run from a fight. Instead, NICE brings a secret weapon: the ability to come to a resolution in which everyone benefits and no one gets hurt.

In fact, the NICE ways to both resolve conflict and deliver criticism don’t involve sugar-coating the issue, downplaying the problem, or smothering an individual in false praise before getting to your point. Rather, NICE means delivering your message in the most impactful and constructive way, making sure it gets heard, processed, and acted upon.

Consider the following, for example:

Imagine you are a manager in the accounting department of a small company. One of your employees continually hands in work to you in which the decimal points are misplaced, causing you to have to correct his work day after day. One approach might be to call the employee into your office, slam examples of their past work down on the desk, and berate them for a job done poorly, delivering the message that he better improve, or else. On the other hand, given the same situation, you could sit down with the employee, talk to him first about a project he had done well recently, and then explain to him that you would like to see him put just as much effort and attention into his other routine tasks, specifically the one that’s been a problem. Then, if applicable, you can work together to brainstorm strategies he can employ to ensure his future success.

Now, which do you think would lead to a better outcome? Let us know with a comment or share your own NICE stories with us!

Posted by Linda and Robin

Wed, September 01, 2010 - 3:13:27

Is Your Smart Phone Making You Rude?

With the ever-growing popularity of social networking and sharing sites, you’ve probably heard etiquette experts dole out advice on the world’s newest kind of social conduct, “netiquette.” And chances are you’re already doing your share to make NICE 2.0 a regular part of your Web routine. But, in our completely portable information age, have you ever stopped to think about your smart phone smarts? No, we’re not talking about your app savvy or your texting dexterity. What you really need to know is: is your cell phone making you rude?

As humorist Andrea Bartz writes in her regular CNN.com column on all things netiquette, smart phones—with all their infinite communications capabilities—have caused many of us to forget about the normal polite behaviors we adopted when cell phones became a regular part of life. While voice-only enabled cell phones were courteously stashed in a bag during a lunch with friends, now Blackberries, iPhones, and Droids can be seen sitting alongside the menu on many tables in a restaurant near you. And it goes without saying: it’s not such a good thing.

Sure, we love our smart phones as much as the next person. It lets us tweet on the go, text with our kids, and respond to our clients quickly. And being so easily available to all those people gives them one important message: they matter to us. But, when you’re glued to your phone when you’re out with friends, business associates, or family, what message are you sending them?

Being there to take someone’s call, respond to their email, or reply to their text is one thing; being there to listen with your undivided attention is another. And in today’s age of information overload, it’s a simple life skill that can actually set you apart from the rest of the often-distracted crowd. When you’re able to tune out the chatter of our noisy world and move your focus toward one person at a time, you can build stronger, healthier relationships in both your personal and professional lives.

It’s not about giving up your smart phone; it’s about using your smart phone smarter. And when you do, people will really start to get the message.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Mon, August 30, 2010 - 3:08:27

Fear, Failure, and Forgiveness

When discussing how managers can harness the POWER OF NICE we often explain how the simple act of owning up to mistakes and apologizing can go a long way toward strengthening teams, increasing productivity, and spurring innovation. But, a recent blog post by author and Stanford University professor Bob Sutton points out another important skill that good bosses must possess: in addition to being able to apologize for their own missteps, they must have the ability to forgive others.

As Sutton explains, managers often make the mistake of driving a hard line and punish employees for failures, instead of forgiving them. Although such stoic behavior is intended to push everyone to strive for perfection, it’s actually self-defeating. When managers place too much of a premium on success, they create a fear of failure. And that can have a dramatic negative impact on the way people work.

When you fear failure, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. But, as we’ve discovered at the Kaplan Thaler Group, when you let go of that fear and accept that you may fail, you prime your mind for success. Where fear creates inhibitions and doubt, the absence of fear opens your mind to new possibilities and allows you to see things in new ways—ways you might have otherwise ruled out.

Forgiving your employees for their mistakes, however, doesn’t mean turning a blind eye. Instead, working with them to understand what went wrong and giving them encouragement to move forward helps them learn, meaning they’ll be less likely to make the same errors in the future.

Moreover, when managers set an example of forgiveness, it goes a long way toward fostering a culture of NICE throughout an organization. When this happens, teams collaborate, people communicate, and Bang! ideas blossom. And the less afraid you are to look for them, the more frequently they’ll appear.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Fri, August 27, 2010 - 8:46:08

“Awesomeness Reminders” Gets into the Business of Compliments

Mark Twain famously quipped, “I could live for two months on a good compliment.” But, what if you could earn a living just by saying something nice to people all day long? According to a post by Time Magazine’s blog, Newsfeed, that’s exactly what one new company is aiming to do.

The business, appropriately named “Awesomeness Reminders,” offers monthly, biannual, and annual subscriptions for their one and only service, which—you guessed it—is a daily phone call from a live person telling you “you’re awesome” (or any other “custom” compliment you would like to request). 

This unconventional new service is already garnering attention from big names in the media and blogosphere and while it’s too early to tell if Awesomeness Reminders will turn a profit, it’s a clearly turning heads.  Why? Because NICE has more power than you might expect—especially when it comes in the form of a compliment. But, you don’t have to start your own compliment delivery service to harness its unique power. You can use NICE to your professional advantage starting today.

Not only do genuine compliments allow you to easily make positive impressions upon others, they can help break the ice, ease stress when making a new acquaintance, and researchers in Hong Kong have even found that they can even make others more receptive to your ideas during a big business pitch. After all, who doesn’t like hearing that someone else enjoyed his recent presentation or likes her taste in music? It provides an instant ego boost and, as Abe Lincoln said, “Men will stand a good deal when they are flattered.”

Another reason compliments are so effective—so much that people are apparently willing to pay for them? Because they’re rare. In this day and age, many people refrain from giving compliments at all for fear they will be taken the wrong way. And certainly, if you’re constantly smothering people with disingenuous praise, they will. But, chances are, if you’re generous with compliments when they’re deserved, they’ll go over well. Leaving you and everyone else feeling… “awesome.”

Posted by Linda and Robin

Wed, August 25, 2010 - 9:00:08

NICE Means Resolving Conflict, Not Avoiding It.

When we wrote THE POWER OF NICE, we set out not only to share the unique way it shaped our company, the Kaplan Thaler Group’s, dramatic ascent to the top of the advertising industry, but to correct a common—and dangerous—misconception about NICE people everywhere: that they’re pushovers and Pollyannas, simply too weak to get the job done. 

As countless business success stories, scientific research studies, and personal experiences shared with us from readers around the world have shown, NICE really does finish first. But, even today, NICE has a bit of an image problem. So, granted, we weren’t terribly surprised this morning when we saw a Harvard Business Review blog post on inter-office conflict bearing the headline: “Is Your Culture Too Nice?” But, we would like to set the record straight. Being NICE doesn’t mean walking away from conflict. It means resolving it in the most constructive—and effective—manner.

In fact, the very approach HBR blogger Rob Ashkenas advocates in his article is right in line with the one we describe in our book. A NICE way to handle a disagreement or dispute isn’t to hide your head in the sand, hope it will just go away, or pretend it doesn’t exist. Instead, the best way to go about it is to address the issue head-on, with a clear head.

Perhaps part of the problem is that the word “conflict” calls forth mental images of shouting matches, hurt feelings, and shattered relationships. But, it doesn’t have to. When conflict is resolved NICEly instead of brutally, it can actually make teams stronger, more trusting, and more open. The trick is to wait and get your emotions in check before you attempt to hash out your issues. Otherwise, you won’t resolve them; you’ll exacerbate them.

When you’re ready to talk, sit down with the other person and calmly tell them what you are feeling, leaving any personal criticisms out of the mix. Then, after you’ve made your case, stop and listen to their side of the story. Once both sides have had a chance to speak and your individual messages are heard, you can move forward together instead of standing still, divided. And that’s what NICE is all about.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Thu, August 19, 2010 - 9:36:56

Power and NICE

Which came first: the power or the tyrant? It’s the perennial “chicken-and-egg” question of the business world that Wall Street Journal columnist Jonah Lehrer asks in his essay, “The Power Trip.” Although everyone from 16th-century Italian philosopher Machiavelli to 21st-century Harvard Business Review contributor Jeffrey Pfeffer has theorized about the link between overt aggressiveness and power, psychologists tell Lehrer quite a different story. Contrary to popular opinion, NICE characteristics such as politeness, honesty, and outgoingness are much more likely to lead people into positions of power. But, once they get to the top, experts caution that it can be a slippery slope. Why? Because of something scientists call the “power paradox.”

Some scientific studies suggest that being in a position of authority has a unique effect on the human brain, that can cause people to become less sympathetic to the emotions and concerns of others—and as history has shown us, this can have a devastating effect on a business’ bottom line. But, fortunately there is hope. In order for NICE guys who made it to the top to avoid falling victim to the power paradox, all they need to do is flex their NICE muscles, daily.

Make the rounds. Studies have found that isolation leads people in power to lose their NICE skills faster. So, make it a point get out and simply make small talk with your employees every day. Not only will it keep you in NICE shape, it will provide you with immeasurable insights about your organization at all levels and boost your office morale.

Use your eyes and ears. Dacher Keltner, a psychologist at the University of California, Berkeley, tells WSJ’s Jonah Lehrer that one of the most common negative side-effects of authority is that it causes you to limit eye contact with others, which not only decreases the effectiveness of your communications, it lowers your level of empathy for others. So remember to “shut up and listen” as we like to say, and then look up to make eye contact with the person in front of you—no matter who is doing the talking.

Open your door. Transparency is one of the best ways to avoid falling into the power paradox trap, Cal Berkeley’s Keltner explains. As an added bonus, it’s a great way to establish trust with your team—and it’s as easy as leaving your door ajar instead of slammed shut.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Fri, August 13, 2010 - 10:17:25

Bowing Out Gracefully

It’s been quite an entertaining week for working people across the nation. Tuesday, a series of 33 photos featuring a twenty-something assistant quitting her job in dramatic, whiteboard message fashion was posted on TheChive.com and became a viral hit. Although it was later revealed to be a hoax, her brazen “I quit!” moment really struck a chord. But, no matter how fun it might be to live vicariously through “the white board girl”, emulating her behavior won’t do you any favors.

The white board girl’s email hoax spread like wildfire this week, but we’re hoping her actions don’t ignite a trend with professionals around the country. Although letting loose when you quit your job might feel fantastic in the moment, the consequences can hurt your career for years to come. Why? Because, as we write in THE POWER OF NICE: How to Conquer the Business World with Kindness, “You never know.”

The problem with over-the-top exits like the white board girl’s, and even ones far less extreme, is that they burn bridges and leave your former coworkers with a bad last impression. And while first impressions are important, last ones can be even more so. In our SMALL world, you never know who you might run into and when you’ll need their help. So, in order to ensure your future career success, our advice is to make sure that your professional past is filled with friends, not enemies.

Sure, we’ve all had those thankless, mind-numbing, torturous jobs where all you can do is imagine the day when you saunter out of the office singing the old country western classic, “Take This Job and Shove It.” But, in the end, acting on that fantasy won’t be nearly as gratifying as making a graceful exit. That way, even if you never see your old coworkers again, you’ll never have to wonder what they’re saying about you.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Thu, August 12, 2010 - 2:20:43

Women and the Uneasy Embrace of Power: A NICE Rebuttal

Throughout our lives, many of us are bombarded with statements like “it’s a dog-eat-dog world” and you “can’t get to the top without stepping on a few people’s toes.” But, our experience in climbing the ranks of the ad industry and founding the Kaplan Thaler Group, one of the nation’s fastest growing agencies—a company, which we might add includes NICE-ness as one of its core values—tells a very different story.

Even with the popularity of our book, THE POWER OF NICE: How to Conquer the Business World with Kindness, we’ve found that NICE still has an image problem. And that was apparent as we read Jeffrey Pfeffer’s Harvard Business Review blog post, “Women and the Uneasy Embrace of Power.” So, we’d like offer our thoughts.

Pfeffer claims women are less likely than men to “pursue power-based influence strategies, are more bothered by and disfavor hierarchical relationships, they are less motivated to dominate others, and they are less likely to take actions to attain power.” So, if women truly have an uneasy relationship with power, as Jeffrey Pfeffer’s evidence suggests, perhaps it has more to do with the hyper-aggressive attitude the word “power” connotes and less to do with an actual desire to lead. After all, leadership and power are not necessarily synonymous.

British journalist Russell H. Ewing famously wrote, “A boss creates fear, a leader confidence.” Clearly power-based influence strategies, hierarchical relationships, and domination do little to give others confidence. Rather, they work hand-in-hand to create fear-based work environments, which studies have shown do little to motivate employees or enhance productivity. On the contrary, fear-based workplaces inhibit people from doing the very jobs they are there to do.

It might go against conventional wisdom, but, NICE management strategies—including negotiation and relationship building—have been proven time and time again to boost productivity and have even been found more effective in heightening employee motivation than corporate stock options, quarterly bonuses, and salary raises. In other words, it really does pay to be nice.

So, perhaps Pfeffer and others should move their focus away from the traditional idea of “power” and understand how the POWER OF NICE can create the kind of effective leadership and influence that can transform companies at the organizational level and catapult careers. In business and in life, NICE is a potent strategy for forging connections, advancing professionally, and demonstrating leadership—and those are not women’s-only “soft skills.” In reality, NICE is a hard-and-fast rule for anyone looking to take their management skills to the next level and make a positive impact.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Thu, August 12, 2010 - 9:38:28

The Story of the Sack Lunch

This morning, we received an email from a friend with a story that truly touched our hearts. Originally published in the July 2008 issue of Renewed and Ready Magazine, it was written by Beverly Brass, as told by Denny Kukich. Although no one knows if the story is a real-life account or a parable, it is a true testament to the POWER OF NICE:

I put my carry-on in the luggage compartment and sat down in my assigned seat. It was going to be a long flight. “I’m glad I have a good book to read. Perhaps I will get a short nap,” I thought.

Just before take-off, a line of soldiers came down the aisle and filled all the vacant seats, totally surrounding me. I decided to start a conversation.
 
“Where are you headed?” I asked the soldier seated nearest to me.

“Petawawa. We’ll be there for two weeks for special training, and then we’re being deployed to Afghanistan.”
 
After flying for about an hour, an announcement was made that sack lunches were available for five dollars.. It would be several hours before we reached the east, and I quickly decided a lunch would help pass the time.
 
As I reached for my wallet, I overheard a soldier ask his buddy if he planned to buy lunch. “No, that seems like a lot of money for just a sack lunch. Probably wouldn’t be worth five bucks. I’ll wait till we get to base.”
 
His friend agreed.
 
I looked around at the other soldiers. None were buying lunch. I walked to the back of the plane and handed the flight attendant a fifty
dollar bill.  “Take a lunch to all those soldiers.”

She grabbed my arms and squeezed tightly. Her eyes wet with tears, she thanked me. “My son was a soldier in Iraq ; it’s almost like you are doing it for him.”
 
Picking up ten sacks, she headed up the aisle to where the soldiers were seated. She stopped at my seat and asked, “Which do you like best -
beef or chicken?”

“Chicken,” I replied, wondering why she asked.

She turned and went to the front of plane, returning a minute later with a dinner plate from first class. “This is your thanks.”
 
After we finished eating, I went again to the back of the plane, heading for the rest room.  A man stopped me. ‘I saw what you did. I want to be part of it.  Here, take this.’ He handed me twenty-five dollars.
 
Soon after I returned to my seat, I saw the Flight Captain coming down the aisle, looking at the aisle numbers as he walked, I hoped he was
not looking for me, but noticed he was looking at the numbers only on my side of the plane. When he got to my row he stopped, smiled, held out his
hand and said, “I want to shake your hand.” Quickly unfastening my seatbelt, I stood and took the Captain’s hand.. With a booming voice he said, “I was a soldier and I was a military pilot. Once, someone bought me a lunch. It was an act of kindness I never forgot.”

I was embarrassed when applause was heard from all of the passengers.
 
Later I walked to the front of the plane so I could stretch my legs. A man who was seated about six rows in front of me reached out his hand, wanting to shake mine. He left another twenty-five dollars in my palm.
 
When we landed I gathered my belongings and started to deplane. Waiting just inside the airplane door was a man who stopped me, put something in my shirt pocket, turned, and walked away without saying a word. Another twenty-five dollars!
 
Upon entering the terminal, I saw the soldiers gathering for their trip to the base. I walked over to them and handed them seventy-five dollars. “It will
take you some time to reach the base. It will be about time for a sandwich. God Bless You.”
 
Ten young men left that flight feeling the love and respect of their fellow travelers.
 
As I walked briskly to my car, I whispered a prayer for their safe return. These soldiers were giving their all for our country. I could only give them a couple of meals. It seemed so little…

Although Mr. Kukich’s initial act was small, it had the kind of ripple effect that only a random act of kindness can produce—and it’s something you can do, too. Every day, our smallest actions have the power to make someone smile, brighten a another’s day, or even change a person’s life. So, never underestimate the impact your little gesture of goodwill can have on someone else. After all, you never know when it could become the stuff of legend.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Sat, August 07, 2010 - 8:56:49

If the Birds and the Bees Do It, Why Don’t You? (Bake a Bigger Pie, That Is.)

If there’s one competitive situation that brings out the worst in people, it’s traffic jams. In fact, you might say it turns people into animals—but you’d be wrong. It turns out that in nature, there simply are no traffic jams. As CNN reports, over thousands of years, animals—unlike humans—have collectively discovered that when vying to get to the same destination, it’s best to work as a team rather than competing for the best spot on nature’s highway. In the end, everyone gets where they need to go and no one gets left behind.
It got us thinking about a concept we like to call, “baking a bigger pie”—and contrary to what you might think, you don’t have be part of the animal kingdom to make it work for you. All you have to do is let go of the conventional wisdom that in order to reach your goals (or, get your piece of the pie), you have to push your way through to the front of the pack. In reality, there are many instances when success can be even greater when you work with your competitors. Or, in other words, when you bake a bigger pie, everyone can have his or her share.

It’s not just “pie-in-the-sky” either. Some of today’s biggest businesses have triumphed by employing this tactic:

Head-to-Head while Arm-in-Arm: You might be surprised to learn that although Microsoft and Cisco are fierce competitors, they also cooperate with one another to ensure that their products interoperate. In doing so, everyone—including the consumer—benefits.

Joining Forces to Dominate the Market: Before arch rivals Samsung and Sony came together to create the S-LCD screen, both sides struggled to find a less-expensive alternative to the plethora of pricey plasma screen televisions on the market. After collaborating on the project, both sides introduced competing products. But, contrary to what you might assume, both also enjoyed healthy profits.

Collaborate to Innovate: Since 2005, European automaker PSA Peugeot Citroën and Japanese powerhouse Toyota have participated in the joint development and production of small vehicles known as “city cars.” Although each company markets a similar—and therefore competing—product, sharing new technologies and ideas with one another makes each one a stronger force in the marketplace.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Fri, August 06, 2010 - 9:03:46

The Number One Career Myth Holding Women Back: Nice Girls Finish Last

Earlier this week we came across an article in Forbes Woman about the five most dangerous misconceptions women have about career success, and while they are all great ideas, we would like to contribute one more: nice girls finish last. Contrary to what you might think, the NICE behaviors many women (and men) assume will stunt their career growth can actually help catapult your career. And as two women who made it to the top of our industry with the counterintuitive philosophy that flowers and chocolates always prevail over spears and intimidation, we can prove it.

But, you don’t have to take our word for it. Countless research studies back up our claims. So, if you need a reason to make NICE your career strategy, consider these findings:

NICE managers spur innovation: A sure-fire way to climb the corporate ladder is by demonstrating a history of managing teams that consistently deliver—and one method of boosting their collective performance is simply being nice. Dr. Dale Atkins claims that the “Confidence Domino Effect,” set off by small kind actions, motivates employees and sparks creative thinking.

“Girl talk” is more than gossip: Bette Midler was onto something she sang, “You gotta have friends.” Ella L. J. Edmondson Bell, an associate professor at the Tuck School of Business at Dartmouth College found that women who befriend other women at work—particularly women at the lower end of the proverbial “totem pole”—are more successful than those that don’t. And it’s all thanks to the seemingly insignificant chit-chat they make every day. Over time, that small talk offers up valuable workplace insights that can provide a career advantage.

It pays to be NICE: One of the most pervasive misconceptions in the business world is that in order to earn more, you have to be aggressive, pushy, and self-serving. But, a 2003 study by Drs. Paul T. Costa and R.R. McCrae of the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health and the NIH, respectively, found quite the opposite.  McCrae and Costa not only discovered that people with calm and even-tempered demeanors earn more than their temperamental counterparts; they also concluded that heightened aggression and self-absorption actually impede job performance.

It’s time to turn conventional wisdom on its ear once and for all and set aside those career myths that hold you back. When you follow the NICE path to success, you’ll find the rewards aren’t just financial; they’re emotional, too.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Sun, August 01, 2010 - 9:43:12

Is Your Email Etiquette Up to Par?

Chances are if you’re a fan of THE POWER OF NICE, you consider yourself to be polite. You say “please” and “thank you” every chance you get, listen intently instead of interrupting, and make friendly small talk with new clients before diving into a business meeting. But, are your online communication skills as civilized as your in-person ones? With email as the primary form of communication in offices around the country—and world—making sure your email sends the right message isn’t just a matter of common courtesy. It’s a smart business move.

The hilarious blogging duo of Brenna Ehrlich and Andrea Bartz write on CNN.com that there are three pervasive email blunders people make every day: “recklessly” BCC’ing, forgetting to say “thanks,” and sending easily misinterpreted messages. And although their article provides a dose of laughter, it points out an unfortunate truth about inter-office communications. So, if you’re committing any of these email sins, here’s how you can change your behavior and make NICE online.

Put Your Head on Their Shoulders: As Bartz and Ehrlich explain, BCC is best used as a common courtesy on mass emails to everyone on your contacts list. But, using it as a sly way to include a friend in an exchange with unsuspecting colleague is bad form. While it might seem tempting to do so, before you fill in that BCC field stop, put your head on the other person’s shoulders, and imagine how your secret actions might make him or her feel if they were revealed.

Replay Always: At the Kaplan Thaler Group, we have a policy of responding to every email we receive, even if it’s just a quick “Thanks!” No matter how busy you are, it’s easy to find the five spare seconds it takes to let the sender know his or her email went through.

Watch Your Tone: One of the biggest problems with email is that messages are frequently lost in translation. Unlike face-to-face and phone communications, it can be difficult to convey the subtle nuances of language that permeate our everyday speech. Remarks intended as jokes or playful banter can be misinterpreted and cause hurt feelings, while terse replies hastily sent in the name of efficiency can come across as angry or annoyed. So, before sending, take the time to re-read your email (aloud, if possible) and make sure it hits all the right notes.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Sun, August 01, 2010 - 9:04:43

How the Speaker Listener Technique Can Make Arguments Productive

Newspaper columnist Doug Larson once said, “Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you’d have preferred to talk.” But, paying careful attention to what others have to say doesn’t just make you wiser, it can actually make you more successful, too—in both your personal and professional life. In fact, our tried-and-true approach we call “shut up and listen” has been an essential ingredient in our success as the leaders of one of the fastest growing agencies in New York.

Of course, it’s easy for most people to listen to the things they want to hear, but it’s when someone is saying something you’d rather not hear—like during a disagreement—that’s it’s most important to “tune in.” And one of the best ways to do it is with a method called the Speaker-Listener Technique.

Recently on the Today Show, Amy Robach shared the story of a happily married couple who has used the technique to handle arguments during a marriage that’s lasted decades.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

But, the speaker-listener technique isn’t just useful in a romantic partnership; it can also strengthen your interpersonal relationships at work. Not only does it allow you to resolve problems in a professional manner, it builds trust, and can provide you with valuable insights about your coworkers.

As psychologist Gail Saltz later explains in the Today Show segment, one of the most important things to remember when using the speaker-listener technique is to give yourself a “cooling off” period before engaging the other person. If you’re feeling hot headed or overly emotional, it’s time to step away and give yourself a break to calm down and regroup. Otherwise, you risk lashing out or playing the “blame game,” both of which cause a communication breakdown and discourage the person in the “listener” role from openly receiving what you have to say. Then, once you’ve had your turn to talk, trade places, zip those lips, and perk up your ears.

So, the next time you and a friend, loved one, or coworker have a problem that needs solving, why not give the speaker-listener technique a try?  Then, let us know the results.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Fri, July 23, 2010 - 10:54:00

Stopping Bullies Starts with NICE

Massachusetts’ recent passage of anti-bullying laws is the latest development in the continuing efforts to curb bullying in our nation’s schools. While the new statutes mark an important step forward, an Op-Ed in today’s New York Times explains that in order to truly conquer bullying, schools and parents must first lead by example to foster a culture of NICE and harness its power to effect substantive change.

As Susan Engel and Marlene Sandstrom write:

Children need to know that adults consider kindness and collaboration to be every bit as important as algebra and reading. In groups and one-on-one sessions, students and teachers should be having conversations about relationships every day. And, as obvious as it might sound, teachers can’t just preach kindness; they need to actually be nice to one another and to their students.

The assertion that kindness and collaboration are every bit as important as math and science may sound outlandish to some, but as two executives who have built our careers using those two essential life skills, we can vouch for it. Certainly, competence in math, science, reading, and writing are all integral to a prosperous future, but relationship-building skills like kindness, communication, and cooperation prove just as vital to long-term success—both professional and personal.

Contrary to the popular opinion that having an aggressive, bully-like mentality can help you score the corner office, the truth is being nice, sharing the credit, and playing as a team is what will set you apart as a leader of the pack. And as Daniel Goleman writes in his book Primal Leadership, it can also help you earn more money over the course of your lifetime. So, supplying children with the proper relationship-building tools during their formative years can prepare them to meet professional challenges far down the road.

But, being NICE doesn’t just make it easier to forge professional connections; it can actually lead to a happier love life and consequently safeguard health. In fact, a study out of the University of Toronto found that people who are considered congenial and kind have half the divorce rate as those who aren’t. And numerous studies, like one out of the Bloomberg School of Public Health, have found that divorced people suffer a 20 percent greater risk of chronic illnesses like heart disease, diabetes, and cancer.

Engel and Sandstrom explain in their Op-Ed that replacing bullying with a culture of NICE does more than make children happier; it can actually help them make better choices. Norway’s anti bullying program, implemented in the 1980’s reduced bullying by more than half—and as an unexpected side-effect dramatically lowered incidences of cheating and stealing within schools.

All of this is further evidence that The POWER OF NICE isn’t just a pie in the sky philosophy; it’s a transformational way of approaching every aspect of life. It can help you build a business, grow your network, or—as today’s New York Times shows—even shape the minds of tomorrow. 

Posted by Linda and Robin

Fri, July 23, 2010 - 10:51:07

It Never Hurts To Listen

Earlier this week, you probably saw the story of Shirley Sherrod, Georgia director of rural development for the U.S. Department of Agriculture, as it made its way across news headlines. After a two-minute excerpt of a speech she had given at an NAACP meeting was posted online, Sherrod received a barrage of criticism from politicians on both sides of the aisle and was asked to resign from her position. But, as Peggy Noonan explains in today’s Wall Street Journal, it all turned out to be a huge misunderstanding: the clip was taken out of context and it made a speech about racial equality sound like just the opposite.

Although the White House has apologized for the week’s events and Sherrod has since been redeemed by the very person she appeared to malign in the video clip, the story should not be forgotten. Instead it serves as a reminder to all of us of what can happen when you rush to judgment and forget to listen to the whole story.

As Noonan writes, in today’s wired world, “anyone can be the victim of a high-tech lynching, and because of this we have to be careful, slow down, look deeper.” It’s not enough to “shut up and listen” in the real world; you have to do it online, too.

In Sherrod’s case, if everyone had taken the time to sweat the small stuff and listen to the whole story before reacting in anger to one tiny portion of it (an excerpt she intended as an illustration of mistakes she had made in the past), we imagine the events of this week would probably have turned out differently. After the clip appeared online, viewers would have sought out the speech in its entirety and listened carefully before reacting—and then, instead of condemning the wrong person, they would point out that Sherrod’s comments were part of a decidedly different whole.

So the next time a little blurb rubs you the wrong way, give yourself a minute to consider the greater context and start listening with both ears. When you take the time to let others tell their story online or in person, you not only make sure you get the whole truth, you’ll keep planting those positive seeds wherever you go.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Tue, July 20, 2010 - 11:35:27

Fear Tactics Don’t Work at Work

This week on Business Week’s website, Liz Ryan lists 10 signs that you might be working in a fear-based environment—and, as you might have imagined her article really got us thinking. Although many managers still use this age-old tactic as a means to motivate their workforce, nearly every sign Ryan describes has the opposite effect. Instead of making employees work more efficiently, they become less effective and instead of productive, they become paralyzed.

British journalist Russell H. Ewing famously wrote, “A boss creates fear, a leader confidence.” But, unfortunately, “bossing” is practiced far too often. Fear-based work environments are often overrun with gossip, rumors, and a “Me vs. You” mentality and it can all be traced to several tell-tale signs of the fear-based office: secrecy, distrust, and lack of communication.

The problem with a fear-based workplace isn’t just that it inhibits people from performing at their best or that it’s the last place employees want to spend their time; it’s that it creates a relentless cycle of negativity. When NICE is practiced at an organizational level by true leaders, it fosters trust, communication, and honesty—and countless studies have documented that it results in heightened creativity, happier employees, and increased productivity. Repeated on a day-to-day basis, these positive actions build upon one another, allowing both employees and businesses to thrive.

On the other hand, fear begets more fear. When negative seeds are planted at work by “bossy” fear tactics, they can quickly overtake a vulnerable staff—particularly during shaky economic times. Collaboration stops, communication halts, and employees become suspect of each other’s motives. Instead of working together toward the common goal of strengthening the company, it becomes “every man for himself.”

So, although for some managers intimidation may seem like the easiest and most effective way to oversee a staff, it’s no way to lead. It’s true: using fear as a tool can accomplish some things: employees will always tell you what you want to hear and no one will question your decisions. But, will that help you build a lasting and successful business? A “boss” might think so, but a real leader will tell you otherwise.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Sat, July 17, 2010 - 11:27:51

Can a Big Raise Make You Mean?

As the CEO and President of the Kaplan Thaler Group, we’ve learned first-hand that NICE is the most effective business philosophy. In the so-called “dog-eat-dog” corporate world, we’ve made it to the top not by stepping on the backs of others, but by smiling and shaking hands. 

In our book, we discuss how NICE people are happier, healthier, and luckier in love, and—contrary to what you might think—higher paid than their mean counterparts. But this week, one of our Twitter followers asked for our thoughts on a Wall Street Journal article entitled, “Does More Money Make CEO’s Mean?” and it begged the question: “Can a big raise turn a NICE guy mean?”

The article reports on a new paper published by researchers at Harvard, Rice, and the University of Utah, which concludes that “higher income inequality between executives and ordinary workers results in executives perceiving themselves as being all-powerful and this perception of power leads them to maltreat rank-and-file workers.”

But, the Wall Street Journal’s Robert Frank brings up a thought provoking-point that hits the nail on the head: “Perhaps the type of CEO that wants to be paid far more than his business’s rank-and-file workers also is the type of CEO that may not respect his business’s workers as much. In other words, that character, not money, may be the source of nastiness.” Like Frank, we wish the study would look at the underlying issues—the driving factors behind why these so-called mean CEO’s choose a specific course and what drives their actions.

In business, as in life, you will come across those who want to bake a bigger pie to share with others and you will come across the people who want to eat the entire pie themselves. In the end, only one comes out feeling satisfied—and we bet you can guess which one. Although, the “bigger pie” business person is driven and desires success, he or she also values the feelings and needs of others as much as his or her own. And that—in addition to being a hallmark of the power of nice—is the unmistakable trait of a good leader, no matter how much they earn.

Posted by Linda and Robin

Fri, July 09, 2010 - 3:16:02

Surprise! Warren Buffet’s Tips for Success Have Nothing to Do with Finance.

“If you’re in the luckiest 1 per cent of humanity, you owe it to the rest of humanity to think about the other 99 per cent.” –Warren Buffett

Warren Buffett might be best known for his multi-billion dollar bank account, but the CEO of Berkshire Hathaway is also famed for his generous philanthropy efforts and winning advice on everything from business to parenting.  And although he’s even been nicknamed the “Oracle of Omaha” for his stock picking savvy, he could just as easily have earned the moniker for his brilliant words of wisdom.

In a conversation with the Huffington Post’s Willow Bay, the so-called “Oracle” shows no signs of slowing down when it comes to dispensing great advice and was kind enough to share a few wise words he’s been told over the years. But, what might come as a surprise is that Buffett claims the best advice he ever received wasn’t about art of investing. Instead, it had everything to do with the way in which you treat others.

Although the business world—particularly the financial sector—is often regarded as ruthless, cutthroat, and hyper-competitive, Buffett’s success serves as a shining example that you don’t have to “fight dirty” to make it to the top.

One of his favorite tips came from longtime friend Tom Murphy, who told him 40 years ago: “You can tell a guy to go to hell tomorrow. So, just keep your mouth shut today and see if you feel the same way tomorrow.”

While the phrasing might not have been the most delicate, Buffet says those words of wisdom were “terrific advice,” continuing, “I don’t know how many problems that’s saved me. You don’t have to stay up all night worrying about the fact that you didn’t tell it to ‘em.”

In other words, lashing out in anger at someone else is never productive. Although it might feel good in the moment, giving yourself a minute (or even better, a good night’s sleep) is the most effective way to handle tough situations and assure that you will communicate constructively with others.  After all, as Buffett once said, ““It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it.” So, take his advice—and Tom Murphy’s—and weigh your words carefully before you burn your bridges with a fiery tongue.

Posted by Linda and Robin