Fri, June 05, 2009 - 11:12:28

Empathy Takes Guts

Time for another pop quiz!  After reading a fascinating article from The Coversation Starter on the Harvard Business Review Blogs, we just had to pose this question.

The definition of empathy is:
a. The act of feeling pity for another individual.
b. The power of projecting one’s personality into (and so fully comprehending) the object of contemplation.
c. The ability to practice kindness to a person in need.
d. The harmony of feeling naturally existing between persons of like tastes or opinion or of congenial dispositions.

For those of you who answered “b,” nice work!  Empathy is, essentially the ability to imagine yourself in someone else’s shoes and therefore completely understand their situation.  However, as many of you may have discovered from your answers to the quiz, it’s a very often misunderstood characteristic… and one that can play a huge role in your success in the business world.

In a recent post, Katherine Bell writes that “empathy,” the media buzz-word du jour has come to imply “an emotional impulse to root for the underdog,” making it sound like, as she describes it, “the softest of soft skills.” But as Bell explains, nothing could be further from the truth.  In fact, empathy is not only a true indicator of power; it is a critical trait of managers at any level.

Contrary to David Brooks’ recent assertion in the New York Times that the most successful CEOs are “organized, dogged, anal retentive, and slightly boring” instead of being warm, empathetic, team-players, Bell argues that the two sets of characteristics need not be mutually exclusive.  And we couldn’t agree more.  After all, we’ve credited our own success in the business world to two main principles: THE POWER OF NICE and THE POWER OF SMALL.  Without taking the time to notice the little things, sweat the small stuff, and dig deep into the tiny details, we are certain we would not be where we are today, but at the same time, exercising kindness, empathy, and compassion with our clients, coworkers, vendors, and associates has helped us not only climb to the top, but stay there.

As Lieutenant General William Pagonis wrote in a 2001 article for the Harvard Business Review:  “No one is a leader who can’t put himself or herself in the other person’s shoes. Empathy and expertise command respect.” And we couldn’t have put it better ourselves.  As we write in THE POWER OF NICE, being “nice” in the business world isn’t about being a push over.  It’s about rejecting the cut-throat mentality that says “nice girls don’t get the corner office” and using a counterintuitive approach to getting ahead. 

So, take the time to empathize with others.  Whether it’s your employees or your CEO, you’ll find there’s a lot of power in walking in someone else’s shoes.

Posted by Linda and Robin