Thu, November 12, 2009 - 3:53:37

About to Get a Red Card? How to Keep Your Anger from Getting the Best of You

If you’ve tuned into the news within the past few days, chances are you may have heard about the in-game antics of Elizabeth Field, a University of New Mexico Junior who has been indefinitely suspended from the school’s soccer team after she violently let her anger get the best of her during a match against Brigham Young University.

While Field has since apologized, her brutal outbursts against members of the opposing team will no doubt leave a lasting impression and thanks to the byte-sized world we now live in, her name will be forever linked to the unflattering video footage plastered across the internet. 

Although we aren’t all NCAA-level athletes, there are times when all of us inevitably get mad—really mad—and feel the intense desire to lash out.  But, Field’s story serves as a powerful reminder to all of us of the dangers of falling under the seductive spell of your anger and acting impulsively in response to your heated emotions and above all why it is so important to take a step back and think rationally before you go on a rampage. 

For example, try distracting yourself from your immediate anger response by forcing your brain to work on something else, like naming all 50 state capitals or listing the U.S. presidents in chronological order. Focusing on such tasks will give your rational brain some time to catch up with your much quicker (and hair-triggered) emotional brain and stop those pony-tail pulling urges.

Whether it’s an on-field rival, an employee at work, or even a husband or wife, when someone intentionally or unintentionally pushes your buttons, the passionate anger you feel initially can make you feel empowered to go on the attack verbally, emotionally, or in some rare cases, physically, as Field clearly demonstrated when knocking around the BYU soccer players.  Yet, when you react in the heat of the moment and go for the jugular, everyone gets hurt.  As a result little can be accomplished and instead of resolving a dispute you only make matters worse for you, the other person, and everyone around you.

But when you resist the urge to fight, take time to clear your head, and come back to what made you angry with a new perspective, you will find that you are better equipped to handle the situation.  And with a new set of eyes, you can calmly discuss the problem with your so-called foe, find a solution, and move on.  After a little quiet introspection, you may even discover that what angered you initially was just a misunderstanding or an over-reaction on your part.

So the next time you’re feeling a little miffed, quit the soccer hooligan routine and try a nicer approach.  After all, in this byte-sized world, you never know who could be watching.

Posted by Linda and Robin