Thu, November 19, 2009 - 9:59:51

Being a Brownnoser Won’t Always Get You Brownie Points

There’s a question we’re often asked when talking to people about our book, THE POWER OF NICE: How to Conquer the Business World with Kindness: “If I’m always nice, won’t I look like a brownnoser?” But, we can’t stress enough the monumental difference between being kind and being a suck-up.  And while genuinely nice people are able to use their relationship building-skills to their advantage in their careers, as yesterday’s USA TODAY article points out, phonily fawning all over the boss might not be the best strategy to getting ahead.  In fact, too much kissing-up can create a real downturn in everyone’s impressions of you, from co-workers to higher-ups.

We’ve often said that giving a compliment is one of the quickest and easiest ways to harness the power of nice and create an instant connection and it’s something we still believe wholeheartedly—provided your words are also truthful.  So, if you’re worried that your sincere praise or encouragement to a superior will come across as sycophancy, there’s a good chance that they certainly won’t.  Why?  Because the mere fact that you’re concerned about it means you aren’t smarmy and no one will think of you that way.

On the other hand, John Sheptor, CEO of Imperial Sugar tells USA TODAY’s Del Jones that CEOs believe “hollow compliments are a sign of immaturity and justification for why the brownnosing employee should not be promoted.”  So, when giving the boss a compliment, it’s in everyone’s best interest not only to be heart-felt, but to be discreet.

In other words, don’t lavish your CEO with accolades while gathered together in the conference room.  Instead, take the time to share your thoughts in private.  That way, you reduce the risk of your actions being misinterpreted by coworkers and curb the potential for resentment in the instance you should receive a future promotion.  Even better, why not compliment the whole group?  Instead of saying, “Boss, you’re a genius!” after successfully completing a big project, why not congratulate the entire team with a motivational, “Everyone here deserves a big round of applause for all their hard work.”

So, if you have something nice to say, whether it’s to a client, a colleague, a competitor, or a manager, say it!  Because when you make others feel good, everybody wins.

Posted by Linda and Robin