Fri, September 10, 2010 - 10:26:08

Nice Doesn’t Fear Conflict

Recently we came across an interesting post by Mike Figliuolo of the blog thoughtLEADERS in which he argues that facing conflict fearlessly instead of meekly sidestepping touchy issues is an essential trait for leaders today. As we often explain, delivering criticism and resolving disputes when necessary are potent NICE characteristics, so that’s why we were disappointed when we read the following statement in his blog entry: “Being “nice” for the sake of avoiding conflict is dysfunctional. It will destroy your organization and your credibility in the long run.” In part, we agree with Figliuolo. Avoiding conflict is dysfunctional. But, it doesn’t have anything to do with being NICE.

Once again, we’ve come across an instance where being NICE has been misconstrued as being weak. But, nothing could be further from the truth. NICE doesn’t shy away from the tough stuff or run from a fight. Instead, NICE brings a secret weapon: the ability to come to a resolution in which everyone benefits and no one gets hurt.

In fact, the NICE ways to both resolve conflict and deliver criticism don’t involve sugar-coating the issue, downplaying the problem, or smothering an individual in false praise before getting to your point. Rather, NICE means delivering your message in the most impactful and constructive way, making sure it gets heard, processed, and acted upon.

Consider the following, for example:

Imagine you are a manager in the accounting department of a small company. One of your employees continually hands in work to you in which the decimal points are misplaced, causing you to have to correct his work day after day. One approach might be to call the employee into your office, slam examples of their past work down on the desk, and berate them for a job done poorly, delivering the message that he better improve, or else. On the other hand, given the same situation, you could sit down with the employee, talk to him first about a project he had done well recently, and then explain to him that you would like to see him put just as much effort and attention into his other routine tasks, specifically the one that’s been a problem. Then, if applicable, you can work together to brainstorm strategies he can employ to ensure his future success.

Now, which do you think would lead to a better outcome? Let us know with a comment or share your own NICE stories with us!

Posted by Linda and Robin