Fri, July 23, 2010 - 10:54:00

Stopping Bullies Starts with NICE

Massachusetts’ recent passage of anti-bullying laws is the latest development in the continuing efforts to curb bullying in our nation’s schools. While the new statutes mark an important step forward, an Op-Ed in today’s New York Times explains that in order to truly conquer bullying, schools and parents must first lead by example to foster a culture of NICE and harness its power to effect substantive change.

As Susan Engel and Marlene Sandstrom write:

Children need to know that adults consider kindness and collaboration to be every bit as important as algebra and reading. In groups and one-on-one sessions, students and teachers should be having conversations about relationships every day. And, as obvious as it might sound, teachers can’t just preach kindness; they need to actually be nice to one another and to their students.

The assertion that kindness and collaboration are every bit as important as math and science may sound outlandish to some, but as two executives who have built our careers using those two essential life skills, we can vouch for it. Certainly, competence in math, science, reading, and writing are all integral to a prosperous future, but relationship-building skills like kindness, communication, and cooperation prove just as vital to long-term success—both professional and personal.

Contrary to the popular opinion that having an aggressive, bully-like mentality can help you score the corner office, the truth is being nice, sharing the credit, and playing as a team is what will set you apart as a leader of the pack. And as Daniel Goleman writes in his book Primal Leadership, it can also help you earn more money over the course of your lifetime. So, supplying children with the proper relationship-building tools during their formative years can prepare them to meet professional challenges far down the road.

But, being NICE doesn’t just make it easier to forge professional connections; it can actually lead to a happier love life and consequently safeguard health. In fact, a study out of the University of Toronto found that people who are considered congenial and kind have half the divorce rate as those who aren’t. And numerous studies, like one out of the Bloomberg School of Public Health, have found that divorced people suffer a 20 percent greater risk of chronic illnesses like heart disease, diabetes, and cancer.

Engel and Sandstrom explain in their Op-Ed that replacing bullying with a culture of NICE does more than make children happier; it can actually help them make better choices. Norway’s anti bullying program, implemented in the 1980’s reduced bullying by more than half—and as an unexpected side-effect dramatically lowered incidences of cheating and stealing within schools.

All of this is further evidence that The POWER OF NICE isn’t just a pie in the sky philosophy; it’s a transformational way of approaching every aspect of life. It can help you build a business, grow your network, or—as today’s New York Times shows—even shape the minds of tomorrow. 

 

Posted by Linda and Robin