Fri, October 30, 2009 - 4:50:28

Virtual Snubs Cause Real Insults

In addition to making nonsense words like “blog” and “skype” a part of the general vernacular, in the past few years, the rise of the Web 2.0 has introduced two controversial verbs previously unheard of: “unfriend” and “unfollow.”  While these little digital actions performed with the mere click of a mouse might seem harmless, CNN.com reports today that a digital snub can actually hurt even more than a “real” one.

As Purdue University social psychologist Kip Williams tells CNN, “People tend to think that these relationships are trivial and not very deep, but this is what we’re moving towards, having a lot of our communications play out over the Internet. That’s the way it’s becoming; this is how we interpret our worth. People care how many [online] friends they have.” 

Whether or not you share the sentiment, for many people, facing rejection online can be a painful process.  And as countless misinterpreted email communications have already revealed, it’s easy to have a detached internet interaction get lost in translation, resulting in hurt feelings and bad impressions.
So, as fellow good “netizens,” it’s important to make sure you harness the Power of Nice in every aspect of your life, even the virtual kind.  After all, as we like to say, “it’s a byte-size world,” so the actions you take online can have real world repercussions.

Of course, we’ve all received Facebook friend requests and LinkedIn introductions from total strangers, and you may not feel comfortable adding them to your network.  But, instead of issuing an all-out rejection, you can actually use our NICE techniques to say “yes” instead of “no.”  The key is to find something else to say “yes” to.

Consider this common scenario many of us have encountered:  You discover an invitation to connect on LinkedIn from a name you don’t recognize.  After checking out their profile, you realize you have a 3rd degree connection, but have never worked with or even met them. 

But, before you press the “decline” button, stop and put your head on their shoulders for a moment.  Chances are they were simply trying to make a friendly gesture and network with a fellow professional.  So, instead of just declining, why not send a quick note explaining your decision: “Thanks so much for inviting me to your network.  Unfortunately, I am only comfortable adding people with whom I have an existing relationship.  But, I would love to connect with you on Twitter or on by blog.”

Instead of cutting off the communication abruptly, you provide an alternate opportunity for both of you to connect on another, less formal, platform.  As a result, you lessen the risk for hurt feelings, open yourself up to potential interactions in the future, and present yourself in a positive light. 

So, forget what you’ve heard and just say “yes!”  Once you’ve discovered the power those three little letters posess, you’ll be nodding your head all the way to the top.

Posted by Linda and Robin