Thu, September 10, 2009 - 2:52:33

Why Empathy is Key

Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons famously sang “big girls don’t cry,” but a recent study out of Tel Aviv University is shedding new light on the uniquely human phenomenon of shedding tears.  And as it turns out, crying might not actually be such a bad thing.  In fact, a little sniveling could be a key component to forming healthy personal relationships.  Why?  Because crying out of genuine emotion creates the important feeling of shared empathy. 

Like crying, empathy is a uniquely human trait entrenched deep within our DNA and one that has helped us to thrive as a species for millions of years.  As humans, each of us is highly attuned to the emotions and expressions of others, and empathy causes us to resonate with expressions of our own.  And in the case of tears, multiple studies have shown that across cultures, crying helps friends, families, and allies form closer bonds.

As we explain in our book, THE POWER OF NICE: How to Conquer the Business World with Kindness, empathy has always been one of the key ingredients in our recipe for success and although crying at work probably won’t help you climb the corporate ladder, becoming more empathetic definitely will. 

Daniel Goleman, author of Primal Leadership, explains that empathetic people are not only happier, more popular, and luckier in love, they are more successful at work and it’s all because they are experts when it comes to recognizing the needs and emotions of their clients, employees, and managers.  And in business, being closely in tune with the subtle emotions of others can give you a real leg-up on the competition. In fact, it’s how we hatched the idea for the little quacking duck that became a household name.

Armed with an arsenal of company facts and figures, we started work on the Aflac campaign, but didn’t know where to begin until we scheduled a meeting with CEO Dan Amos.  While making a little small talk, Amos confided, “I’m just sick and tired of going to lunches where no one can pronounce the name of my company.”  Instantly, we knew the statistics didn’t matter and using our empathetic skills, tapped into his emotions to create the campaign that made Aflac one of the most recognizable names in the industry.

So take down your game face and try a little tenderness instead.  Whether you’re trying to comfort your spouse or close a deal, empathy just might hold the key to success.

Posted by Linda and Robin