Thu, June 18, 2009 - 3:22:17

Enough About Me

If you’ve read THE POWER OF SMALL: Why Little Things Make All the Difference or watched this touching YouTube video sharing the story of Annamarie Ausnes and Sandie Anderson, then you already know what a powerful effect small talk can have on your life.  When we take the time to make a little chit chat with the people standing right next to us, we open ourselves up to a wealth of opportunities, experiences, and possibilities, but mastering the art of small talk can be tricky.  And when practicing your small talk skills, it’s imperative to ask one question: “How do I talk about myself?”

Chris Brogan recently broached the topic on Feed Front, and he reveals in his post that one of the best ways to tell people about yourself is by asking questions about the other person.  It’s a technique talk show host and friend of THE POWER OF NICE, Jay Leno, explained to us that he has used with guests for years and one that psychologists have now discovered is a powerful way to make a lasting romantic connection.  After all, when you ask someone about themselves, you immediately share a common interest and there’s nothing more seductive than being around someone who finds you utterly fascinating.  (And nothing more boring than being on a date with the guy who says, “Enough about me, let’s talk about my accomplishments.”)

But being curious isn’t just great for your love life; it can actually help you excel professionally.  Why?  Because, as we have discovered, curiosity kills the competition.  At The Kaplan Thaler Group, expressing a real interest in what makes our clients tick hasn’t just given us enormous insights, it’s won us accounts.  And it all starts with the small talk we make with clients before the big pitch.  By asking questions outside of the boardroom, showing a genuine inquisitiveness about the ins-and-outs of our clients’ businesses, and learning about the people behind them, we say more out ourselves than any list of accomplishments could express.

So, next time you strike up a little conversation with a stranger, a date, or a potential client, remember that the questions you ask are just as important as the statements you make.  You’ll soon discover there’s nothing insignificant about small talk.

Posted by Linda and Robin