Fri, December 04, 2009 - 10:18:49

Loneliness is Contagious

Have you ever been surrounded by a group of friends when all of the sudden, you start to feel lonely?  If so, chances are you’ve contracted a particularly contagious strain recently discovered by scientists.  Yes, as counterintuitive as it may sound, loneliness can actually spread from person to person, and having just one lonely friend can dramatically increase your risk of feeling the same way.

Although we typically tend to equate feelings of loneliness with social isolation, there is a profound difference between the two.  The study, conducted by researchers at Harvard University, the University of California San Diego, and the University of Chicago examined people expressing feelings of what psychologists call “subjective loneliness,” an emotion that is experienced alone as well as in the company of others. 

As the New York Times reports, the average person feels lonely approximately 48 days out of the year, but simply spending time in the company of another lonely person can tag on an extra 17 days of glum feelings. Fortunately, the same emotional contagion that brings about the loneliness virus can also be used to counteract it.  The researchers learned that positive people promote happiness among others, decreasing loneliness by an average of five per cent per person.  In other words, your own positive outlook can not only protect you from “catching” loneliness, it can prove to be a real benefit in the life of a less content friend.

How does all of this work?  It turns out it has a lot to do with the power of small.  Through even the subtlest of facial expressions, body language, and even tone of voice, we gather important pieces of information from one another and internalize it.  And by paying careful attention to the cues and clues we send one another we can, as Dr. Nicholas A. Christakis states, “make an effort to prevent this sad experience of loneliness, [and] stabilize the whole social network by preventing this kind of unraveling. We all benefit when we attend to the needs of those at the margins.” 

So, the next time you notice something funny about a friend, look beyond their smile and watch your cues and clues to see how they’re really feeling, and put your positive energy to work.  The tiny act of “being there” could mean the world to them.

Posted by Linda and Robin